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Dating Black Men

Mellisa & Nathan

Her Surprise Visit Changed Everything

Here’s the story of another couple who used our site to find one another! Now with Nathan, Mellissa remembers the circumstances of her entry into the online dating pool. “I joined in 2009, but only used the site casually,” she tells us. “I wanted to expand my options beyond the area where I live. I tried one other site first, but was not impressed with it.”

By the time she found our site, Mellissa knew a new membership was no guarantee of immediate success. “I was hoping I might find somebody,” she says. “At the very least I was hoping to make some friends.”

Nathan wanted to meet a mate, not a friend. “I was a member for a little over a year before I met Mellissa,” he recalls. “Your site was my first experience with online dating! I wanted to find a woman from a different culture and background. I wasn't sure if I would find somebody real, but I felt I had nothing to lose.”

So that’s how “SweetMell” and “Mr.Right123” came to be on our site at the same time. It was Nathan who made the first move, soon after spotting Mellissa’s profile. Why did he reach out to her? Nathan shrugs. “I don’t think I had a type, I was just exploring,” he says.

Mellissa picks up the story there. “Nathan sent a Flirt first, then we sent a few back and forth before he messaged me,” she says. “He seemed very sweet and romantic. He’s actually very similar to my type.”

As he got to know her better, Nathan found lots to like about Mellissa, too. “I liked that she enjoyed traveling and liked getting to know different cultures,” notes Nathan. “I had a lot of experience with people not wanting to get to know me simply because of where I am from!”

Mellissa nods. Geography was not playing Cupid for this couple; in fact, it was not on their side at all! “He and I had been communicating for nearly two years before we met,” she reveals. “By then I felt I knew him really well. I was going to be travelling near Ghana, so I decided to surprise him with a visit!”

It definitely didn’t take Nathan two years to feel ready for their first in-person meeting. “I knew within the first two weeks that I wanted to meet Mellissa,” he declares. “All I could do was hope that one day we would!”

Mellissa didn’t inform him that she’d be stopping by, however. “I flew to Ghana to visit some friends there,” she says. “I coordinated with a friend to surprise Nathan! We went out for drinks and dancing.”

Needless to say, this was a very happy surprise for him. “I was so shocked and surprised to see Mellissa in Ghana,” marvels Nathan, smiling. “I had no idea she was going to visit. I was in disbelief!”

Once she laid eyes on Nathan in the flesh, Mellissa was very happy she’d made the effort. “I thought he was so handsome,” she says, batting her eyelashes at her beau.

Nathan was equally impressed with his lady’s looks. “I didn’t want to take my eyes off of her,” he laughs.

After that experience, both were certain they could make their overseas romance work, despite the obstacles that distance presented. “I never wanted a long-distance relationship,” says Mellissa. “After meeting him, though, I wanted more.”

Nathan acknowledges the difficulties involved, but he was determined not to let their lack of proximity interfere with destiny. “It is very hard to make long-distance relationships work, but if the people really want it, they can make it,” he says.

We asked the pair when they knew they’d make it as a couple. “When I was returning home and realized that I wished I could stay a few days longer, to spend more time with Nathan,” says Mellissa.

Here’s Nathan’s response to that question: “The first time she sent me a birthday present from overseas. It was nothing fancy, but nobody had ever made me feel special that way before.”

Now that they’re a full-fledged duo, Nathan and Mellissa can reflect on how their lives have changed. “I am happy,” he says. “I feel I have something pushing me to be a better man.”

Mellissa thinks she was on this path, already. “My life has not changed very much. I have always wanted to live abroad. Finding Nathan only intensifies the desire!” Nathan nods. “I like how she quickly adapts to situations and cultures that are different.”

Here’s what the happy couple have to say to the single folks on our site. “Don’t give up,” urges Mellissa. “With anything worth doing, it takes time, as well as trial and error. You never know where something may lead.”

Nathan believes that putting on airs is a mistake. “Be your genuine self,” he says. “Be honest about what you’re trying to find. There are people who will appreciate it.”

We appreciate Nathan and Mellissa sharing their story; it was a good one!