Why some Black women only date White Men

Posted by James, 17 Jan

We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those black women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.

The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.

Find your soulmate on InterracialDating.com

Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.

Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.

Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.

One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.

With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?

1842 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"

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  1.   VASweetie82 says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 12

    I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with dating interacially. In fact I find it exciting to date people from different backgrounds, both culturally and racially. My own personal dating experiences with black men led me to realize that I didn't have to limit myself to one particular racial group simply because I identified with that group. I was blessed enough to be raised in a very diverse family, and community. I find that when it comes to personality and looks, I'm attracted to guys with similar traits whether they are white, black, latino or asian. I have a type, but it sure isn't defined by, or limited to, a particular race.

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  2.   cakelady says:
    Posted: 08 Sep 12

    Hi Dan89may, I dont know what is going on with you but you seem angry or bitter I dont know which one but I have a question for you. How old are you? Some of your comments have been childish because you couldnt be speaking from experience because experience will eventually show you, you cant judge all based on what someone told you or a few bad experiences. Your sexual reference was not called for please tell me HOW AND IN THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW? Black men cant last long. The issues you mentioned do not apply to every black woman or man. Just as the rumor every black man is packing and every white man is small....So be careful with the general statements.

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  3.   sexy78 says:
    Posted: 02 Sep 12

    hi am attracted to white guys for so long since i was in my teniies ninteen now am thirty five but i joined this site so i can i have more friends and paypals, i usually meet black guys but at the end i meet a white guy and am sweept away , i just like white men period ,white men are the bomb.

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  4.   dan89may says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 12

    black women are cute, but you all are very bitter men women , like i smiled at one in the mall and said hello she looked at me like i was a dead dog on the road.. i dont get this site i live in a city where thers alot of black people and white... if you black girls" like" white men why isnt ther more proof you all do... ? where is it... you all do no only 3/100 white men would ever date a black women others stats say only 4 out ever 20 black women like white guys... but must black women dont show they do they dont smile at you or even act like they notice you thats why i quit wanting to be with a black women, why try so hard? when i can get a white girl as soon i step in the door? why ther so many black girls on hear saying white dudes are wired? black guys are thugs all they do is sell dope, cheat on ther women makes 20 babes with 20 women and dont take care of them? come on now black women trade up get u white guy who will spoil you like the queen u are...

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    • Reese says:
      Posted: 06 Sep 12

      Why would any bw want to date a white man like you who doesn't even seem to like bw. And the only thing you can offer is negative stereotypes about bw(our fathers, brothers, sons,etc). Put out positive and you might just find a good bw. You sound so angry and bitter about some percieved rejection from bw. I am a very happy, fun, open, passionate........and I am looking for the same. If it is too hard for you to date bw you don't have to date bw get you a white woman. But maybe you should travel some and see how other parts of the country live. Because bw and wm are very successful having the lowest divorce % in the whole nation.

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      • msp75243 says:
        Posted: 01 Nov 12

        Dan, you should continue in your quest to find a compatible mate, however you may want to evaluate some of your behaviors and the way that you present your ideas. There are all types of people in the world and it's unfortunate that you had a negative experience at the mall but don't stop there! She was just one of many women in the world. Just be positive and you'll find the right person for you. Best wishes in your search and lose the negative stereotypes!

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    • jana12 says:
      Posted: 10 Sep 12

      dan89may, you said "you smiled at one in the mall and said hello she looked at you like you were a dead dog....). Well, guy, like you said, that was one, just one. That one did not smile back and say hello. I would have, and many others would have, too. Don't judge all black women by that experience. Oh, and by the way, I came on this site hoping to find a happy relationship, because the white guy I broke up with said he would spoil me and treat me like a queen, but he did just the opposite. Good luck.

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      • QTpie1968 says:
        Posted: 30 Sep 12

        jana12, I know the feeling! Been through that same type of "relationship" myself....

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    • Imogene2009 says:
      Posted: 27 Sep 12

      Dan89may, I am a black woman. I use to wonder why is it that white men dont approach the black women. I would want to think that it is a matter of culture. I know of white guys who likes me but they never tell me .Some may say hi, but as far as I am concerned, this man is just being polite, however if he was to start a conversation and let me know that he likes me ,then I would respond. I am also a very shy person and in my culture our black men will tell the woman that he likes her. So I would suggest to the white man who likes black women, to be more assertive eg. if you like her make sure you let her know . In regards to the lady who did not respond to you in a nice manner; maybe she was not interested and that was her way of showing it, so dont take it personal

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    • cherelle4u says:
      Posted: 27 Sep 12

      @ dan89may you cannot speak for all black women and judge them because one black women did not smile back at you! I hate to say this but I think at some point you have been hurt by a black woman . Therefore, you must be careful with your perception of black women and men! Honestly, we all have had bad relationships and most of us have learned from these bad relationships and chose to move forward. Do us all a favor and continue to smile at the African American women you find attractive you just may get a smile back! Also please stop generalizing all black women and men in the same category! Yes we as African Americans have different shades of colors; however, we are different indivduals on certain levels! So heal your broken heart pick dust yourself off and don't give up until you meet the black beauty you been looking for! (yes I said it black women rock and we are beautiful)

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    • XnChristine says:
      Posted: 11 Mar 13

      dan89may, When you wrote what you think of black men in your post--nothing but negative stereotypes--you are, by association, insulting all black people, including black women, for they are black men's mothers, grandmothers, aunties, sisters, daughters, and granddaughters. Think about it: black women can sense it that you have this negative view; that's why you don't feel "safe" enough for them to smile at you. No respectable black woman would go out with a white man who thinks black men are so far beneath him. Just by believing what you do, you are insulting her father, grandfather, uncles, brothers, sons, and grandsons. It is probably better for you--and for the sisters!--that you have not found one to go out with you. If you check your attitude, you can clean it up, or get help getting it cleaned up. See what's behind it. At least you are open enough to be on this website. I think a lot of people on this site are trying to tell you to get some help with this.

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    • SweetCream21 says:
      Posted: 15 Jan 14

      Maybe if you used spell check, a AA female would be interested..? I don't know, that's just my thought.

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  5.   Shyleen says:
    Posted: 20 Aug 12

    Some white men are verrry weird.Black men aren't as romantic as whites but they ain't weird.I am open to date any man with good character.ITS CHARACTER BABY

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  6.   Member says:
    Posted: 17 Aug 12

    [...] Why some Black women only date White MenJan 17, 2008 … We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those women that only date White men. I remember a … [...]

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  7.   rjobby8148 says:
    Posted: 14 Aug 12

    i love black woman. Unable to hook up with one in my area.

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    • Lovelymiz says:
      Posted: 07 Dec 12

      @ rjobby8148 Not trying to be funny but when I read the words "hook up," all I can infer is that you mean "sex." If that's the case, please know that you never will because these women are able to read you. If that's not what you meant by the term, then I apologize.

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    • SweetCream21 says:
      Posted: 15 Jan 14

      Approach one. Men act like we are a math problem. I, mean what is the worst that can happen? AA females don't bite, I do though ;)

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  8.   kelli310 says:
    Posted: 03 Jul 12

    I think it's rather lame to limit yourself. I did date a lot of white men in the past now my dating pool is very mixed (white and black guys or anyone cute with a great personality) gets my attention these days... I did discover stark differences between different dating races though. Black men are way better in bed! Yeah white guys like to go down and all but they're just not good at making the neighbors know their name like the black guys I've been with LOL And white men are way better at romance and treating a girl special...I just notice they can be great thoughtful boyfriends/partners. So yeah ladies don"t limit yourself trust me lol

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    • Reese says:
      Posted: 14 Aug 12

      Black men being way better in bed? That hasn't been my experience with them. There are good and bad men of all races and black men all aren't packing.

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    • reese says:
      Posted: 14 Aug 12

      Black men better in bed hasn't been my experience? And white guys have been no weirder than the black men they have been in better positions in life so I quess everyone has their own experiences. All brothers aren't packing and good in bed.

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    • dan89may says:
      Posted: 01 Sep 12

      i heard from white and black girls that black men cant keep ther dicks hard.. white men can... so if you date all races why u piting white men down u sound stupid and lame...

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    • ally2311 says:
      Posted: 19 Nov 12

      @Kelli310 i have to agree with you... each individual brings something new to the table.. and i don't see a person for the colour of their skin... i see men, and i love men, my preference is, i love a tall, husky kinda man, who's very manly and good with his hands, looks great in a suit, but also looks irresistible with a scruffy face, jeans, tee, and some dirty shoe....whether black, pink or purple or white! with a great personality, a protector, takes care of his fam and knows what he wants and knows how to treat a woman........

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      • Lovelymiz says:
        Posted: 07 Dec 12

        @ ally2311. You described my dream man to the teeth; everything except for the dirty shoes - NEVER dirty shoes! lol

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  9.   RayneDelay says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 12

    Within the last few years of exclusively dating White men I have grown to appreciate Black men more than I had before. Yes Indeed. LOL

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    • trackgirl15 says:
      Posted: 24 Jun 12

      oh boy! do tell your experience please.

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    • kelli310 says:
      Posted: 03 Jul 12

      I feel exactly how you do, the more I've been with white guys makes me know there are great black brothers out there...my last few white boyfriends have been off some weirdo BS that black men wouldn't even be off of LOL

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  10.   bashful says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 12

    I just love black women full stop.....but cant seem to be able to hook up here in ireland-((

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    • trackgirl15 says:
      Posted: 23 Jun 12

      ireland? do they even have black women there? LOL.

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      • Capt.Harpoon says:
        Posted: 10 Jul 12

        Yes, her name is Jennifer. LOL

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      • nika23 says:
        Posted: 03 Aug 12

        It turns out there a large African population in Ireland. I was in a relationship with a guy from Dublin and was shocked to learn how many Africans lived there.

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    • gagriel says:
      Posted: 03 Aug 12

      I am a Jamaican girl and I just love white men am crazy about them. So u want a sexy black I am here baby

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  11.   veekee says:
    Posted: 13 Jun 12

    i think the contrast is sexyyyy ;) when i see a black man i go danmmm but when i see a white chocolate i go danmmmmmmmmm lol and i picture myself 5 years from now with him. atraction has no rules people so be it, live happy

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  12.   citystarr75 says:
    Posted: 12 Jun 12

    I for one am a black woman who will only date a white man, as early as i can remember i have loved white men, but as a young teenager i was critized and tormented for not wanting to date black men, so to keep down confusing and from ppl calling me names, i started dating black men, and was never happy but faked happiness, and so as i got older i married a black man and now i'm divorced. Now im to the point I dont care what anyone thinks, I love white men, they stimulate my mind way better than any black man has ever done, and to me a white man is interested in me and who i am and not how soon can he get into my pants. I will not take who i really am anymore and date who i am not comfrontable with, i love white men. Black men dont do it for me, never have. yes there are some very attractive black me, but the black man does nothing for me.

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    • trackgirl15 says:
      Posted: 23 Jun 12

      Well that's sad for you to have had such experiences. Men are men. They ALL Want to get into your pants.

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      • dan89may says:
        Posted: 01 Sep 12

        i dont ,,, u cant pit all men in the same boat.. sweet heart

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  13.   Calientema says:
    Posted: 03 Jun 12

    I really don't have a preference honestly. I've dated white, black & Latino men. From my own experiences Ive always felt like the black men that I dated have not had strong family values or value commitment. After repeatedly being cheated on, lied to, disrespected and abused by the black men I've dated I'm just ready for something different. I feel like white men & Latino men alike are raised to not desert their kids or families. I also have felt like the black men I've dated always want to make me change who I am to satisfy their desires. I am who I am and I don't want to be made to feel like any less of a woman. I am very proud of my black-Latino heritage but I'm just not finding any black men in the community where I live who have the same values as myself. That's why I joined this site. To find something different and hopefully better.

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    • trackgirl15 says:
      Posted: 23 Jun 12

      i'm glad you said "in my community" and "the black men I have dated". A lot of women sum all black men up in the same category once they have had a few bad experiences. I hope you find a man who has good family values such as yourself. I have problems finding that as well, no matter WHAT race. I have dated men from all races. There are good and bad in every race. Cheers!!

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    • Neco110 says:
      Posted: 04 Aug 12

      I hear what your saying but I think its important to always put yourself in other peoples shoes. Because how fair would it be if a black man came on this and replied saying, "I don't date black girls because, theyre loud, obnoxious, stupid, ugly, ect," How hurtful is that?? So unfair! And most people would generally reply to that by saying, "How dare you, thats just the girls you've dated/encountered thats so unfair to lump all of us together like that!!!"... And thats exactly what youre doing to black men. Me personally, I am attracted to white men more so than black men but solely because I am attracted to people within the theater community (theater geeks) so more than likely theyre white. Has soley to do with what I am attracted to on a personality level. If I end up with a white guy, so be it! If I end up with a black guy, so be it! :)

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      • RayGer says:
        Posted: 07 Sep 12

        I agree, there should be a way to appreciate one race without denigrating another! Preferences are fine but being open minded about finding a loving relationship, despite race being a factor is better! I am just grateful there are a lot of lovely black women that will give us white guys a chance!

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  14.   Zarin says:
    Posted: 29 May 12

    I love this, all man are equal. I really wouldn't care if yellow, white, green, but coming from where I am I would prefer a white man with slow hands....lol. I have the brain to match him and can tell him off if he gets smart, (there are enough white man or a man for every woman on this earth). At this point in time of my life I am not about to test new waters so I'd prefer to stick by the white man that I have dated since high school days, only because I wanted to avoid traditions and customs, but I think at this modern time and age, men of all race have stepped in everything including love interest to meet what's out there. Love you all men, but I am used to a white man that is stimulating for me from the bedroom to the outside business world. By the way, most comments are nice and healthy, this is example of what makes mankind interesting every day.

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  15.   cakelady says:
    Posted: 29 May 12

    To all the Ladies, I will say there are some white men who may view us in a negative light but not all....I know some of you may not know this but there are a lot of white men in the military who do not share the same views of typical white men. White men in the military have worked around all different races and have a more realistic view on race (they dont care). There are many that love sisters with hips and appreciate our curves. I know many and they express how they want to find a sister they can develop a relationship with and eventually marry.I asked them why do they want a sister? I have been told over and over they love our minds, how we carry ourselves, our nuturing and loving nature. I wanted to share with my sisters because I know it is frustrating to feel that we are not viewed for our character, education, and the good quailites we possess; but there are men that will.

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    • nika23 says:
      Posted: 15 Jun 12

      It is so nice to hear us being appreaciated and valued for our character because I think that's much more important than just our physical beauty. Beauty fades so if that's valued the relationship is doomed. It's good to see that some men realize that a quality woman is more valuable since looking like a model or a certain race is the only criteria for a lot of guys these days. It's funny that they then complain that they can't find a good woman when they are surrounded by them, they're just valuing the wrong qualities. I was always a bit fearful of military men because many can be controlling and I experienced a bit of that. My ex (a white guy) was in the Air Force, he worked for the police academy and was a prison guard and he was a great guy. He was very take charge which was new for me, but I liked it because most of the guys I dated in the past seemed so indecisive and it was nice to finally meet a guy who acted like a man. Maybe I should give it another try and find a nice military guy.

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    • QTpie1968 says:
      Posted: 09 Jul 12

      Cakelady, I agree with you. I live in a military town in NC, and was married to a white military man for 17 years. It is commonplace to see white men/black women all over town, which is a beautiful sight in my opinion.

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      • RayGer says:
        Posted: 07 Sep 12

        QTpie, sweetie, you don't look old enough to have been married to anyone for 17 years!

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    • NaijaBabe11 says:
      Posted: 15 Jul 12

      Military white men are the BEST-looking men out there, anyway :)

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    • Neco110 says:
      Posted: 04 Aug 12

      Totally agree with you! And everyone has to be honest, you find men of all races that only value women for their bodies. Its not exclusive to a specific race. Because I refuse to believe that wm exclusively only want bw for their bodies and not acknowledge a bw's personality or brain. Men (and women too probably) of all races do it. If a guy only wants you for your body he's not the guy for you. White, Black, Asian, Hispanic, whatever, he's a jerk and you shouldn't be with him. :)

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    • RoyceRaz says:
      Posted: 28 Sep 12

      I was in the Navy for 5 years and that experience helped me to see how much we all are really alike. I was friends with every type of person you could imagine. I traveled all over from Eygpt to the U.K. to Panama and saw how many unbelievable people there are out there and how many great cultures there are. I realized that regardless of a persons race, religion, age or country they were born in, there were as many Scholars as there were thiefs. I decided that I only wanted people of high character,Integrity and those that treated others with respect and diginity around me. Needless to say sometimes I get REALLY lonely!!

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    • Galvsailor says:
      Posted: 01 Mar 13

      Appreciated your recognition of how we Military Men (many of us, but not all) incorporate our life experiences into our attraction to Intelligent, Beautiful Women of different cultures....Thank you so much for that!!! People develop and change over a lifespan.....this is clear and universal... How one changes are functions of their environment, intellect, biology and other less definable factors.... What one thinks and feels and is attracted to early in your life will probably, hopefully change as one has meaningful life experiences, travel and rigorous education later on.... Things I have learned and how I have grown positively over the years vis- a- vis my great honor of being allowed to serve Our Lovely Country (USA) in many climes and places importantly include a desire for Black Women of Beauty, Intellect and Substance. Thanks for reading my comment....Sentient, respectful comments always encouraged:) Regards, Layne (GalvSailor)

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    • skygal says:
      Posted: 23 May 13

      I have a problem with stereotypes. I'm a black woman who's slim and petite. I'm quiet, dislike drama and well spoken. In fact the truth is I struggle to maintain friendships with black women often due to cultural or maybe I should say problematic background issues. But that's besides the point. My point is if WM are said to or say they like BM for curvy bodies, big lips and "strong" personalities -ahem- then where does that leave slim women like me?? Well, anyway, in real life I do very very often get propositioned by WM in my line of work. So I know they do like my look. Just saying don't stereotype so much at the end of the day it boils down to 2 people having chemistry and a connection. Good luck gals

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  16.   pellediluna says:
    Posted: 24 May 12

    AV never been attracted to black man. I love white men and they also love me i.e. my complexion, hight etc. I have three boyfriends who love me very much.

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    • trackgirl15 says:
      Posted: 23 Jun 12

      THere's something wrong with a person who isn't attracted to their own race. You're black..........that means you aren't attracted to yourself. I am attracted to ALL races. Beauty is beauty. Skin color is nice but it doesn't define who you are. You need to take a look inside of yourself to see why you don't find yourself beautiful.

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      • Neco110 says:
        Posted: 04 Aug 12

        I'm gonna disagree with you a bit. Just because you have preferences of dating doesn't mean you dislike or hate yourself. I almost think, in a funny way, it makes you feel MORE black!! lol! Funny enough, when I'm dating a white guy vs. a black guy I feel more black with a white guy! Some of the cultural differences and obvious physical differences are MORE evident when youre with someone of the opposite race! So it somewhat forces you to acknowledge your blackness which is ok with me! :)

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      • NaijaBabe11 says:
        Posted: 04 Aug 12

        And who are you to determine whats wrong and whats right with having dating preferences??? That's not going to change her mind.

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        • RoyceRaz says:
          Posted: 28 Sep 12

          It all is about your personnel preferences. You like who you like, only your heart knows why. i'm not attracted to men...so does that mean I hate men? No I think that you have to follow your heart, and if we all did that and were happy for others in their personel lifes, we wouldn't be having this discussion. Don't settle, don't listen to anyone else and make yourself happy. Also when white guys find out I primarily date Black Women, they begin to open up about their own attraction to Black Women, they just are afraid of what society will say. I tell them, your not in 6th grade anymore grow up and stop worrying about others judging you.

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  17.   tinapame says:
    Posted: 23 May 12

    colour has nothing to do with love, when you are in love the colour does not matter cos we got same features, at least i have not seen any man with three eyes and two mouths (weird) i should say. No boundaries when in love

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  18.   thejazzlady says:
    Posted: 22 May 12

    I've never been physically attracted to black men really. Although, through my life I can say that I have found people like Michael Jordan and Denzel Washington attractive. I've only dated white men. I find myself physically attracted to white men, and I have for as long as I can remember. My first crush, in kindergarten was this adorable boy named Danny. But Danny like most five year old boys wasn't interested in girls yet. So I spent every day watching him like a lovesick puppy at school. I wasn't always as comfortable with my attraction to white men -- I never discussed it with family or friends for fear of being ridiculed or ostracized. But once I was on my own, in my twenties, I felt free to explore and enjoy. I've learned that as human beings, we like who we like and if we're lucky, they like us back.

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  19.   nursediva says:
    Posted: 17 May 12

    That has been a topic at my family table for over 35 yrs. I have a total of 7 sisters. 5 of us date and married interracially as well as both my brothers..My dad asked me that question first in 1979.. I could give him an answer..Deep inside of me, it just felt right and natural ..Still quite comfortable being with a white guy. I live in city where I see men of all races looking at me. I have had some men say "A different place or a different time and you would be the mother of my children" For me its all about comfort, and allowing me to be ME..

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  20.   chris1969 says:
    Posted: 15 May 12

    I don't care about race but just feel a little more attracted on average to women with brown skin, cute button noses and lovely kissing lips! hahaha!

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  21. Posted: 11 May 12

    I have been dating interracially for years and I have found that most guys in general just don't care about race, I know I don't. I still love black men, I'm just open to dating people from different places, cultures etc. I think the media now...that the kids are watching is different from even when I was a child and I just left my twenties. People of all races are shown to have uniform interests, thoughts, cares, worries etc. I think the US is finally embracing it's multiculturalism and I think the kids will all think we're weird for even discussing race, LOL

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    • tahiti11 says:
      Posted: 03 Jun 12

      Chris, what a wonderful comment about black women. You sound like you are absolutley delicious.

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    • trackgirl15 says:
      Posted: 24 Jun 12

      Well, I agree with you in some ways. The USA is definitely getting better in terms of interracial dating. However there are still issues when it comes to skin color...........particularly within the black culture. We still berate one another for being light skinned or dark skinned. Having so called "good" hair and naturally kinky hair. Oh it's a shame.

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  22. Posted: 05 May 12

    I dated my first white guy when I was 23 and now I'm fifty and I love white guys. I sign up for this site and when I read the success stories, I wonder will I ever meet anyone that is genuine. I guess I'm looking for what every other woman is looking for which is a good man. I love my brothers but I just like white guys and @imshrhutl86, like you said I've had bad experience with both race and I just prefer white guys. Reading those stories does make me feel like i got a little hope of finding someone. My problem is, is the guy is way too old or way too young. I think the ones that are my age and are in shape or just not interested in me. This will be my last try. I've been alone for two years so I don't just rush into anything. When you get to be my age you don't care about what someone says or think any more. The stairs you get when your with a white guy I find it very funny. Just my thought for today LOL.

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    • Moxie981 says:
      Posted: 28 Sep 12

      Just to let you know that there is another Sister out there wanting and waiting for her good man to come. Don't give up. I'm fifty and I intend to have the man and a family someday. Keep on making contacts and living your life. I will take a page from your book and just laugh at the stares and comments. It's all about love.

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  23.   imagegurl86 says:
    Posted: 05 May 12

    I have to say that. As a black woman I love all shades of men. Black, white, latino, etc. But in my bit of experience with men, respect and attraction. I find that white men do tend to make you feel more important. My dad and mom are both black, they both love each other very much and they always raised me go with what I feel. I can say that that is not the case for all white men. I mean I had some bad experiences with them too! So,I dont want to put our black men out there, and have them percieved as "not caring". Its just the way I feel, I always have and always will be attracted to white men more so than others. It is what it is! And people shouldnt be afraid of what anyone else think. Love is Love.

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  24.   lisa0131 says:
    Posted: 01 May 12

    I can only speak for myself, I feel black women and white men have been brain washed by the media that shows only white women are the most beautiful women in the universe and black women are ugly ghetto and unactractive,while the blck men tell black women to stay with their own race, most of us black women wouldnt mind dating a white guy but we don't want to be precieved as whores or golddiggers.I think a lot of white guys buys into that sterotype about us.While the white women and black guys are hooking up being happy with one another no looking or judging each other on their skin color.In a nut shell i think white men have been brainwashed that black women are only good for one thing thats sex.And most white guys i feel think their more superior than black women.Thats why a lot of black women don't date white guys they wouldn't mind dating them we just want to be respected ,P.S I'M A BEAUTIFUL BLACK MEN OF ALL RACES THINK SO SOMETIMES I GET MISTAKEN AS SOOUTH INDIAN .WHEN i tell some whit gus i'm african american i can see some start getting uncomfortble.I feel white guys care about what people think about who they date,whereas white women stand on who they love no matter what color they are

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    • 427skies says:
      Posted: 05 May 12

      Pshhh, I could care less about what some random black people think about my dating choices. I don't only date a specific group, but I am attracted to men who aren't Black. I love Black men, but I also love White men, Middle Eastern men, Asian men, Latino men, etc.

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      • Ichibod says:
        Posted: 06 Jun 12

        I like how you said, "random black people". We are definitely not all the same. Not the men, nor the women. :)

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    • Eaz34 says:
      Posted: 19 Jun 12

      In most civilized countries in the world the color of your skin is a non-issue. All this black/white crap got started by the wealthy people since the beginning of this country. It's all about divide and conquer. They want all the poor people fighting each other by brainwashing us with the idea we are different and better or worse than one another. I'm from Brooklyn,NY and have always been around all types of people. We are all pretty much the same and have many things in common like we need to pay the bills and put food on the table. I don't consider myself white, I'm of Sicilian decent. We are not colors, we are all people who come from different lands and cultures. Whenever I start to see an African-American female almost always the first question is "How do your parents feel about you dating a black woman?" They are happy if I'm happy. Yeah I'm sure my mother's fantasy is for me to marry a nice Italian girl with a nice Italian family so she can cook and take care of me just like she did,lmao Right and just look at how well my relationships turned out when I dated "an Italian" lol I'm just joking, like every one else I've had some good and bad relationships regardless of what color or nationality they were. In closing no one should ever limit or close their options. Now for any female reading this check out my profile and feel free to leave me a msg and let's talk....... who knows ; )

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      • Joie23 says:
        Posted: 26 Jan 13

        Really liked your post.

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      • XnChristine says:
        Posted: 09 Mar 13

        I like your post, Eaz34. One of Alexander the Great's primary goals was to mix the races together, and he did quite a job of it. In the first century, people were identified by their country of origin, not their race. We would do well to dispense with descriptions of color. That would make me primarily French, Welsh, and Scots-Irish, but from a gene pool that goes back to China; and my ex African, Blackfoot Nation, and Irish; and my kids...Well, I guess a lot of groups have mingled. There are not really clear lines between them."God has made of one blood all peoples."

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    • tonyrodg says:
      Posted: 15 Aug 12

      I agree.

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    • supersmiles says:
      Posted: 02 Mar 13

      I really agree with Lisa0131, because I dealt with a white guy dating me but seems to want to keep things between us a secret. Here I am a beautiful full figured, confident, smart and strong black woman asked to keep things between him and I a secret because he afraid to admit his attraction to black women. Then there's a black guy trying to marry me but I'm not attracted to them...as much. I think a lot of white men are afraid of their family disowning them if they knew they loved a black woman. I love myself a lot and have a lot of love to give the right MAN has to be strong and stand beside me not behind me. Kisses to all!

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      • XnChristine says:
        Posted: 10 Mar 13

        Dear SuperSmiles, If the white guy keeps your relationship a secret, he is two-faced and lacks character, courage, and conviction. I am white and married a black man when I was only 19. As a young girl--in 1976 when interracial relationships were taboo, and still illegal in some states--I had the courage to face death threats, the disapproval of society in general, job discrimination, a man releasing his guard dogs to attack us, being disowned by almost my entire family, and being disinherited. But I didn't care at all; I ignored it and got married. If this guy doesn't have the courage to tell his family in 2013, he is not man enough for you, honey. (On a practical note, he also may think of you as "just a side dish" The girl he really loves, he'll bring home to Mama. Real men do that.). You hold out for a man who will love you completely for your beautiful self, and who will shout it from the mountaintops and make sure the whole world knows that he loves you. Now that's a real man.Don't be discouraged. There are men of all races who have that kind of character.

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      • dave_74 says:
        Posted: 19 Jun 13

        My advice is find a guy who isn't ashamed and won't try to hide you. There are lots of white men out there that are proud of their black ladies.

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    • eltrut says:
      Posted: 12 May 13

      HELLO, I agree with you. White men look and want a black women,I feel the same way. White men do find black women attractive just afraid what people will say. Yes white women don't care what the family,people say. White women are stronger than white men in loving the one they love regardless. White men need to stand up for what they want:).

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  25.   lisa0131 says:
    Posted: 01 May 12

    why

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  26.   JRJ64 says:
    Posted: 29 Apr 12

    This just came to mind in the bible it says that god created "man" in his own image and likeness so why do we look different to each other and does god see a difference in us, if i marry a white guy he wouldn't see it as i'm against my race cause for him there's only one race the human race so those who complain aren't only races you are also atheist cause god doesn't seem to be in your thoughts for true true love sees no colour or know any bounds. So love who you want, where you want and how you want because in the end it's only between you, the person you love and god

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    • tonyrodg says:
      Posted: 15 Aug 12

      Yes and when he told Adam & Eve to go forth and multiply he did not put a but in there. (But don't mix colors LOL)

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  27.   JRJ64 says:
    Posted: 29 Apr 12

    As a child growing up in the caribbean the music we listened to on radio and tv was mainly from international singers, my first crush was Tom Jones and for years i only liked white or guys from different races,even had a white boyfriend for a while in secondary school. But i spent most of my adult life with black men even had a child who i love with a black man but they were never on the same wave length me, my music and some of the things i liked to do made me "a hater for black people". I grew up on rock music mostly but as a child of the 60's music from then through to the early 90's is what i love the most when i want to clear my mind and relax, that cause a lot of problems and unfaithfulness in a 9yr relationship because i didn't like his type of music. When you are faced with situations like that what should you do, take it or try something different so going back to my first loves seems more sensible to me and for most black people it's not betrayal cause we aren't pure bred african, we are just turning to the other side of our gene pool at least i am. Remember one thing at all times as black people unless your parent are from africa you aren't as black as you think you are and i'm an all natural black woman, short natural hair, no make-up and a hefty butt who doesn't want to be told anymore that i must hate the part of me that's white. To truly love you must first love yourself and to love yourself you must embrace and love all of yourself including the different cultures and races that are a part of you

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  28.   jbeck1985 says:
    Posted: 28 Apr 12

    and I won't**** have to physically abuse your body

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  29.   jbeck1985 says:
    Posted: 28 Apr 12

    Wow.... Okay Background first. White Male mid 20s. Grew up in MidWest with some but not much interaction of different cultures. Joined Military been all over the world. I have been exclusively dating outside my race for last 5-6 years. I got married to a black woman (black is not my term but for easy understanding I say it, she was mocha skinned and beautiful) I loved her very dearly up till the point she cheated on me, and stole 50k from me. At that point I divorced her as soon as I could. Now I do not think because her heritage she robbed my poor unknowing white boy self. That is absurd to me, she took advantage of my kindness not because of my heritage but because I am good guy. The next girl I dated was dark skinned and the next girl I will hopefully date is light skinned (we see how that works). I have no issues with woman of my race, but my mind looks at a petite dark skinned woman and says WOW. It does not say the same thing about white girls. I agree interracial relations are very hard and I have been through a lot of racism based on my dating preferences. And I would say its 40% white people being racist and 60% black people. The white are more verbal about their disgust for me (which has lead to me knocking people around when I was younger and not so calm and witty), but the black side just tends to stare, whisper, and point. Like for some reason I don't see them criticizing me or my date for what we are doing. I say to one and ALL, I am a Me and I don't care what you think about me. I will always be attracted to woman with brown skin of some sort. If you don't like that, fine keep your thoughts and words to yourself. And I would have to physically abuse your body.

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  30.   Davania30 says:
    Posted: 26 Apr 12

    I have read many comments here. Please understand that I am not trying to be an "ass" but please stop with the term RACE by definition we are all homo-sapiens, if we learn to use the correct terms then maybe we can focus on learning, loving and addressing real issues concerning ethnicity! Black, Brown, Green, Pink, White, Yellow does not matter what ethnic group or cultural you come love who you want to love, keep God first and keep it moving!

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  31.   blkking74 says:
    Posted: 26 Apr 12

    Wow I am also little upset how you women feel about blk men and I see why good blk men run too white women lol.i perfer blk or hispanic women and it seems too me all you blk women are on here for white men and not other races. I am very good man I never cheated or disrespect women and I know alot of good men that yall so called never see,even tho there are alot of ghetto blk women just as blk men or materialistic blk women now we have self-hating blk women.I really feel sorry for yall that yall never experienced a good blk man before but take a look in the mirror and think maybe its me and not them maybe if you stop looking in the hood or clubs you will find one and for those who down grade us and date only white men then that tells us that you do a want too be white and trust me white men do talk junk about blk women behind your back and who there too defend yall us good blk men.I am a strong blk men and will stick with dating blk or other minority women and noone speaks proper english cause us americans were born here not england please get it right thank u :)

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    • reese says:
      Posted: 26 Apr 12

      Would you stop. You need to look at what black men say about black women so now black women are explaning their horizons. The majority of black women prefer black men. But you are on an ir sight so 99% of the people on here including black men prefer women outsider their race. Or they would be on another sight. There are websites for blacks people looking for black people, jews looking for jews. latinos.........etc.

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  32.   1ofus says:
    Posted: 25 Apr 12

    Here is one for you. I love men. Just because they happen to be white most of the time does take away from their manhood. I love white men because they make me feel special, loved and protected. I don't have to be more than I am. Black men are fine specimens too, but they just don't turn me on. It's chemistry. Even in my older years I still find white men fine fine fine. I have dated white men most of my life, was married to one for over 20 years and am looking for another one. To tell you the truth I never felt embarrassed or threatened or intimidated by black people who did not feel comfortable with me having a white partner. I think my husband noticed more than I did, frankly I never cared what anyone thought. I think we do ourselves an injustice by shying away from what could be very good for us because someone might no like it. so ladies I say, if you like white men go for it, enjoy them and keep on stepping.

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    • 1ofus says:
      Posted: 28 Apr 12

      Why do we have to date black men or you black guys feel threatened. What, you want to have all this good stuff just for youselves? Grow up guys! My dating a white man does not make any statement about you. I don't know you. My skin color does make me the property of every black man on the planet. Why you trying to claim all of us as yours? My dating preference does not make you a black man less than a man for somebody. Don't place so much into other people's actions and do you. This is going to be an interracial world, boundaries are falling everywhere and those of us who are not comfortable with it will be like the dinasour, extinct, or living a a cave while we grind our teeth in frustration. Hope this helps. :)

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  33. Posted: 24 Apr 12

    EVERYONE HAVE THIER OWN CHOICE, BUT LOVE COMES IN ALL COLORS, AND FOR ME I LOVE BLACK MEN, I CANT SAY THAT WONT CHANGE, BUT I JUST LOVE A STRONG BLACK MAN, YOU ARE STILL NUMBER 1 IN MY BOOK. BECAUSE THEIR ARE STILL SOME NICE, INTELLEGENT, STRONG BLACK MEN OUT THEIR. AND IF YOU LOOK HARD ENOUGH YOU WILL FIND ONE.

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  34. Posted: 17 Apr 12

    I've read all of your comments, wasn't going to say anything until I read dennison2000's post. As amature black senior, I've dated a lot of black men. It wasn't until I turned 55 when I realized that the mature black male only wants to date the sexy young Beyonce type. They either can deal or handle a mature black sexy senior. ha ha So, unless I wanted to stay @ home, watching TV while dateless, I had to expand my horizons. I had previously dated a white male, who by the way was more black than me, and wanted to see how it was now. Since then, I've dated several white men and find they are more respectful, affectionate, and caring of the black women. Most of them don't care about age or a full-figured women. They want to deal with an intelligent women. I just happen to be black. Don't get me wrong though. Some of them are looking for that fantasy of going to bed with a black women (discretely). That is a turn off. I'm looking for that special someone who wants me for me, who wants to be in a relationship with a very special unusual women who would make him proud.

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  35. Posted: 16 Apr 12

    These woman only want a white man because bla ck men wont put up with there f up personalitys. If sounding like a wite person is being smart Why must you hold your breath and talk out your nose to sound proper

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  36. Posted: 16 Apr 12

    Im happy that white men want these black women. They can have that low class bull shit. Most of these woman are here because they're thinking that being with a white man gives them class. Just think of how thay act talk dress. Its like t

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    • reese says:
      Posted: 20 Apr 12

      I don't think so. I disagree with you. Sometimes it is just where you are raised. I was raised in Washington and when I go to visit my sister they say I talk white. Black men and women do. I think it is more about wanting someone who accepts you. We go though enough stereotyping just being black, we shouldn't have to justify how we talk, what we eat, music we like.........etc to be accepted. And some black men go though it as well not being accepted for having no swagger. And some of these women date both and just have had better luck with other races. Some people might date for that reason, just like some black men date for the white trophy wife. But lets not pretend that we don't judge each other hard and make all kind of judgements on each other from some simple things as how we decide to do our hair. There is a variety of black people so who is to say what is being black or acting black especially if the stereotype is negative.

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      • Ruth116 says:
        Posted: 23 Aug 23

        I wonder what he does about black immigrants from parts of Africa and the Caribbean who speak the King's English with those wonderful accents? Do they "act/talk white" in his view, too? Said immigrants often wants little or nothing to do with American blacks, deeming some of them frivolous, violent and negative influences on their children.

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  37. Posted: 29 Mar 12

    Hi Sarah & Scoff, I'm still around also. I'm sure this group would love your story.

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  38.   JoJo777 says:
    Posted: 25 Mar 12

    I do agree with Chucky1978...love is a choice. If you can fall IN love you can fall OUT of love...and many couples go through times where they fall out of love over the years. Thats why marriage is a major committment. Its a choice to love even when you're not 'feeling' it. As for denilson2000, I have to say, I'm very sorry you feel this way. You seem to be very angry or possibly have been hurt deeply and for that I'm sorry. However, the blanket statements you are making are exactly the things you hate. I looked at your profile and I wouldn't date you because you have a bad attitude and are an atheist. People make judgements every day about who they are attracted to or what they like. Its and INDIVIDUAL preference that we all should embrace. I love to see black women with white men. I feel like human race is starting to blend as one. So go for it my sistas of color have our white men. They are great. I'll trade you for yours. ;) Even though I find that many black men are not marriage minded and I am;I will find my black prince charming one day and live out my dream of a wonderfully happy marriage. God bless!!!

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  39.   JustRon says:
    Posted: 22 Mar 12

    I would never ever date a white guy. Why? Because I'm a guy.lol Back to real: I have always been attracted to Black women. I really love your skin tones and find the different tones enchanting and beautiful. In fact, I've always found myself not much attracted to a light skinned Black woman. What's up with that? I really and truly would like to find that special beautiful Black woman to fall in love with and her with me before I crash and burn~~for the last time. This is why I'm here and in other sites where there are Black woman. So~~c'mon check me out & hit me up.lol

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  40.   scoffy60 says:
    Posted: 20 Mar 12

    Just dropping by to say hello, although I read all of the post frequently I've kind of stepped back and let the younger crowd hash all the problems out. I bet many of these couples can't say they were dating in the 60's; in a rural sergerated society, (just a thought). Love and Blessing s to all Sarah

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  41. Posted: 20 Mar 12

    Not all Black women who date white men are self-hating. That's just ridiculous. I was with a good black man for 6yrs. We have 3 beautiful children. But when everyone started asking when we were gonna get married...he pushed himself further and further out of the relationship. He was mentally abusive. To the extreme. I love being Black. I've never wanted to be any other race. But when I cut my hair off every summer there is never a good Black man who wants to be seen with a good Black woman who doesn't have a long weave.

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  42. Posted: 19 Mar 12

    I find these posts very sad and disturbing. I have always know that a lot of black women worship white men. I know a lot white guys who laugh about this to me. Come in work bragging how they banged this black chick. Yes black women. That is how they talk behind your back. From what I gather from these posts is that black or Mixed raced women are saying. Black men are ugly, worthless, down and out bums who are in prison. Where as white men are the gods of universe, the perfect physical specimen, rich, hardworking and cultured and well mannered Am I on stormfront here ? One thing that has ALWAYS been hard for me wrap my head around as a black man, is the way EVERYBODY vies for the love and attention of whites. Let’s just face the facts, most people of color WORSHIP white people; to the point where they are completely BLIND to any faults that a particular white person may have. You ladies talk about white men, and that’s it’s just your *preference*. Please. BE QUIET !! All my life I’ve watch in absolute ASTONISHMENT as even the most haggard of white men can pull a gorgeous black women. I can’t even COUNT the number of beautiful, BEAUTIFUL, black women that I have seen with white men who were nowhere near being their equal. Every group of women are just lined up to be the next white person’s plaything; simply to have a damn piece of a white man. They just did a survey on OKCupid that proves that white men are worshipped by all races of women. This whole self-hating mindset that exists in most people of color swells the mating of choices of white people to GALACTIC proportions It’s so bad where I live, that you have decent brothers who will NEVER find love in their entire lives simply due to the fact that they may happen to belong to CERTAIN groups. I am talking about perfectly good brothers who won’t find anyone at all. . It’s a reality out here folks, and it was one that I had almost SUCCUMBED to. Nobody, and I do mean NOBODY, wants to see a black man who is a decent, REGULAR guy, get loved. Especially, by a DECENT woman. It angers the hell out of many people to see this. Many people feel as if many black men are DESERVING of this. Unless he is a damn multi-million dollar athlete, or an entertainer. People make black men out to be these unfeeling thugs who show no pain, or anything else. When, in reality, the average black man is a damn “Jester Under Pressure” in this society; forever ACTING for the entertainment of other people–who don’t give a damn about him. White men benefit MASSIVELY from the self-hate of people of color. White Supremacy, in general, ENSURES that white people always get the best things in life; all the way to the day that they die. I look at, and observe white folks sometimes, how it seems like many of them take the finest things in life for granted. When it comes to mates, many white people EXPECT to have the best. Hell, with the way this society is structured, even the ugliest of whites who can’t pull the best of their own race, can get a self-hating, top-quality, minority partner. However, you can’t really put all the blame on whites for this; as people of color, THEMSELVES, are STUPID enough to allow it to happen. They don’t mind being the backup option for a damn old and divorced white sugar-daddy. Nor, do they mind being the last shot deal of an over-the-hill white woman who can no longer garner the affections of her own men. Many of you ladies want to be white so bad, that you will overlook ALL of those things simply to be with a white person; knowing damn well you would NEVER look over those things when it comes to anyone else. Hell, white folks benefit all the way around. In fact, from what I have seen, what many white people do, is when they are at their best, they give their PRIME years to another white person, have kids, and everything else. THEN, when they get old and over the damn hill, and no other DECENT white person will have them, all of a sudden, many of them develop a THING for colored ass. It’s a win-win situation for many of them; as they have many self-hating people of color who are willing to oblige them in any way that they see fit. The numbers of people out here who haven’t gotten caught up in the damn “White Is Right” matrix, are few; and they are spread out all over the country, usually tucked away somewhere. It’s hard to find, and connect, with such people. Being a black man, who is the biggest target in this society, dealing with the attitudes and behaviors of many of these brainwashed people can wear you the hell out.

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    • LoveLayzh says:
      Posted: 20 Mar 12

      I date white men, because I don't find Black men attractive and I never will. It has nothing to do with the things you posted, I just don't like Black men.

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    • Reese says:
      Posted: 05 Apr 12

      The main problem with your post is one you are on a ir dating site so to say all bw worship wm when the majority of them are with bm and least likely to date outside the race. Do bm worship ww on this site. Alot of people date ir for many different reasons. Some people it just happens. Oh and btw old white people and black people get married. Old white people can find other white people do marry and do it every day.

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    • CdBergerac68 says:
      Posted: 25 Apr 12

      Denilson2000 states: "Come in work bragging how they banged this black chick. Yes black women. That is how they talk behind your back." Anyone who comes to work bragging about ANY of their sexual exploits is simply uncouth and immature. This behavior speaks only of the lowbrow nature of your colleagues, and has no logical relevance to the issue of inter-racial dating. A more rational conclusion to all your arguments would be that MORE people should date interacially so all that separation and objectification you are up in arms about would slowly disappear.

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    • Tim1975 says:
      Posted: 03 Jul 12

      Sooo much ignorance. I don't even know where to start poking holes. Put down the haterade, denilson2000, your lies won't discourage these beautiful black women from finding love and true happiness. Spread your lies and venom elsewhere.

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  43.   Big.H. says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 12

    I think that if black woman and white man can get along together then they should get togeher besides if you think about we all are mixed blooded down line love is life is all about.

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    • Demetrilo says:
      Posted: 24 Apr 12

      To denilson 2000 : Right now,a decent,upright black woman of 38 is speaking to you from experience.I have dated black men and I love them with all of my heart.But,that love for yourselves have to be from within.I read your post and what you say is the truth.But,as for me and many other black women, who have gone through nonsense and foolishness,from certain types of black men,we are just tired.Well,I am.I have dated black men and I have done everthing that I could possibly do to support them in their goals and ambitions in life.I have been abused in every aspect...........I am tired.If the white males go around talking smack about theblack females that they screw around with then they are no different than the the black males that I have heard do the exact same thing to all the other races of females.Notice what I said ..............Males,not Men and Females,not Women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not looking for a "Sugar-Daddy",I have my own,I do not want any children,nor do I want to keep anybody elses.I love to travel and since I am a millionaire,then I am in the position to help people.I own my own businesses and have been running them for twenty years(when I was nineteen).I don't chase after nobody,they come to me for my business.I started out poor,broke and in the country,not the ghetto,but close enough.I had to change my outlook on life and the people in my life ,in order to be the person that God wanted me to be.I didn't sleep with anyone to be a success,to be a Kardashian to be a success or screw a white man to be a success.God gave me the gift to be who I am...............A BLACK WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!Lol,which is no easy feat in itself.You have to believe in yourself,no matter what the obstacles are in front of you.If I can find a Decent ,Resectful,Black MAN,who takes pride in himself,without being arrogant and who can realize that a black woman loves him for not just his accomplishments,but what he has to go through on an everyday basis just being who he is.Young man,show me who he is,I will talk to him.

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      • Demetrilo says:
        Posted: 24 Apr 12

        Dude,I saw your profile,you are a handsome young man!!!!!!!!!!!! What is wrong with you???????Lol, :). Don't feel that way,the world is too big to feel the way that you feel :).

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  44.   2bigworld says:
    Posted: 18 Mar 12

    I wonder when something stops being a "preference" and becomes prejudicial in and of itself. I read through a fair amt of the posts, and many of the blk women and blk men seemed to say the same things: My interests were more acculturated to things preferred by whites (music, hobbies, etc) and I had a few experiences where I was judged harshly and falsely for those interests so now I prefer someone with whom I think I will share those interests and that person is probably white. But at least 10 blk women and 2 blk men (that I read) had the SAME, EXACT interests. You all would never notice each other because you're too busy looking past each other to get to what you think is on the other side! A different skin color does not mean a different set of values, interests or morals per se. Those things are individual, and we all should assess people individually. It does no good to run from a stereotype only to become one who stereotypes. I love men. I love exploring, cultural events, learning, reading, travel, all types of music and trying new things. I can't expect to know what color the man who also enjoys those things will be, which is why I'm open to dating anyone who shares my values and interests. I don't apologize for being educated and sounding like it. I love who I am, the way that I am, and I want to spend time with people who love who they are, period.

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    • VIZLKN4LV says:
      Posted: 19 Mar 12

      I have been attracted to white men for as long as I can remember. As a military child, I was born in a latin country to Jamaican/Latin/Scottish-blooded black parents, moved to the US and was raised by and around black people as a youth in a trailer park down south. My teen years were spent up north in private school. In both places, I always found myself more comfortable and able to be "me" around white folk because of the same cultural prejudices from black folk expressed in the above posts. It is really sad that black pride these days is defined by being ignorant, misogynist and criminal rather than educated, loving and cultured. Although you noted that in the above postings, 2 men and the vast majority of the women quote: "had the SAME, EXACT interests. You all would never notice each other because you’re too busy looking past each other to get to what you think is on the other side!" You have to admit that years of getting ridiculed for the things you like gets old so you stop heading toward punishment and look toward a more sure thing. But I admit that deliberately looking to another race or sticking to your own is not the ideal either. It is a conundrum but what can you do but hope and pray that the right one; black, white or other comes your way and fulfills the needs of your heart.

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  45. Posted: 18 Mar 12

    For me, I have always and still do, love Strong, sexy, handsome black men. As I've gotten older, however, the odds of finding a black man of my standards, have become difficult. Mainly, the incarceration rate of Black men are ridiculous, to say the least; and it seems as if the remaining black men, prefer women of other races, immature, or they're openly gay or on the "down low". A friend suggested about a decade ago, that I should consider dating white men. I've never had anything against interracial dating, and I've found certain white men attractive, so I've been giving it a try. Still haven't found "the one"; and there are just as many trifling white men as there are brothers but it hasn't been a bad experience, altogether. I think this is a part of GOD's plan, personally--We've been divided for too long!

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  46.   cj00 says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 12

    Since i was young, before i had even considered dating, white guys have always been attracted to me and i was also attracted to them. As far as black guys go they never really seem to have an interest in me lol... which was ok and i didnt mind. I have to be honest, i too have been ridiculed for always wanting to dress up and look my best reguardless of the occasion, speaking proper english because im black seemed to be a major issue even to my so called girl friends. Black guys found that i was so prim and proper, but is that such a bad thing, wanting to be a"lady" and removing the stigma that all black women are ghetto. Well if it is i guess my parents didnt do a great job in raising me and bad habits are just so very had to break. I remembered an incident that occured a few years ago when i decided to date a black guy, to give my family and friends the satisfaction that i wasnt racsist and i can date a black guy. We went to the movies and he was chewing gum lol.... that was all well and fine, but he began blowing huge gum bubbles and to top it off he began making loud gum popping noises during the movie lol.... i was obviously embarrased. I told him to cut that out, you know what he did lol... he spit the gum out of his mouth over my head and onto the floor by a patron's feet....lol.... so this is just one incident that occured with dating a black guy, there are a few other bad dates that i've been on but it didnt go well either... I obviously have too much class to put up with and settle for that type of crap. I'm not saying that it dont have white ghetto guys but there are alot of black ghetto (thug) guys out there that dont have class who actually believes that there behavior is cool, and the few that have class feels like they rule the world.... In the end i'll choose myself a sophisticated white guy anyday :).... As someone said in an earlier post its all about, expierences, preference and choice.

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  47. Posted: 10 Mar 12

    Have you often wondered, just what may have happen between both races, had not ignorance played a role.Ignorance,greed,control were the main things used to divide races. And thats just scratching the surface. Although there is still a great deal of it, still lingering around. You can't help who you fall in love with. I have dated my black men, all of my life. There is nothing more beautiful, than a black man. I was raised to treat a black man with love and respect. So why was it that when, I ran his bath water, lit candles, had his dinner hot and on the table, it drew doubts in his mind. I have been told that women like me don't exist, anymore. Now that I'm older, Ide like to spread my wings and find love on the other side of the fence. Regardless if hes white, Chinese, Indian, Jew or whatever. As far as I'm concern Love is Love

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    • chucky1978 says:
      Posted: 12 Mar 12

      I have to disagree, you do choose who you love. Falling in love is a Disney/fairy tale myth. Everything is a choice. Attraction is based on multiple variables.

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      • 2bigworld says:
        Posted: 18 Mar 12

        I don't know that I totally agree Chucky1978. I understand that we have variables (preferences) and we tend to slant toward those preferences. I would have totally agreed with you until I fell in love with a man whom I never would have consciously "chosen". I fell in love, in the mythical way that people talk about falling in love, where I just saw him for him and I put my "list" (because we all have one) aside. But I do understand what you're saying; however, now I know that the Disney/fairy tale myth can exist too.

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  48.   chucky1978 says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 12

    I believe some of you are missing the bigger picture on this issue. It seems that even the main author is a bit off also. One of the main points of this discussion has a root in the assimilation of one culture or cultures by a larger majority group. The majority group seems to dictate the social climate. The majority group determines, religious, economical, relational, and several other defining factors in society. I would challenge anyone on here to give me a strong argument and proof that attraction is a biological trait from birth. Also, many of you don't realize that the U.S. is primarily designed for the ideals of the majority group. From the simple fact that a group is called "minority" it is implied a sense of other, not the main standard. There is more to this discussion but this is all that I would ask you guys to think about. I would say love who you want. Please let it be because you see them as an individual and not a societal implied norm.

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  49.   Mathaps says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 12

    I have been asked why would i and am I dating out of my culture and race? It all goes back to PREFERENCE. thats it in a nut shell. I love our white brothers.....yes I said "brothers". I have dated black men before....and I believe this is 1 of the reasons i decided to stick with white men. Im very attracted to them and I aim to settle with one... ;)

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  50.   Fabulous8 says:
    Posted: 03 Mar 12

    Hi I reside in the state of IN for 22years and it has been a very horrible disappointing dating black men. I was raised in New York I am a multiculture woman and I was raised around many different cultures. I never dated a black man until I moved to IN. I have been called names, put down because I am not gettho and loud and I love all music. So right now I am lonely in IN. I have enjoyed reading your post.

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