White fathers should know...
"If I am your worst nightmare, you need to figure out what the f**k is wrong with your dreams", says Dave Harris in his poem, 'Black Boyfriend', performed in June at the 2015 Rustbelt Regional Poetry Slam.
"I always see it. That surprised face. That face that says, 'Oh shit! My daughter did not bring home a black guy." That is how Harris' poem begins describing the shock and disappointment of fathers of the white girlfriends he has dated whenever they met him. He is a Yale University student and has decided to smash the prejudices he has had to endure on his interracial dating journey.
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I think most black men dating white women can relate to this experience. And its sad to think that, in 2015, some parents still choose and dictate whom their children ought to date. Well harry continues...
"To the fathers of too many of the women that I've dated... The day I meet you, I always straighten my tie. I use the biggest words I know. I break out the good shoes. So you can see them before you see past them." According to him, no mater how much he goes out of his way to give a great first impression, he is always seen as a bad influence of "just a phase".
His poem is against this whole "thug" mentality people have going about black men. At the same time, he feels such outdated ideas about interracial dating need to come to an end if we are to be the "melting pot" people seem to praise us for.
In the end, Harris tells these disapproving fathers to "Wake up.". And if you ask me, I think its about time some of us who are dragging us down did! Well here is the whole thing for your watching...
16 responses to "White fathers should know..."
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petalrebel40 says:Posted: 07 Oct 15
People really still think like this? I wouldn't want anything to do with family if they judged my date by race rather than how the person treated me.
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weng33 says:Posted: 04 Oct 15
The person should know what's good for her self than the father :)
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Robby2u says:Posted: 05 Oct 15
You are so right, although I made a harmless joke about it. I agree with you because some people are still living in the past.
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Robby2u says:Posted: 03 Oct 15
REALLY! It truly doesn't matter who comes to dinner! Please don't bring a handgun, a military assault rifle, or a bomb, and just pass me the BBQ RIBS and lets eat. I'm too old for this Shit!
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passion204 says:Posted: 20 Sep 15
If I am your worst nightmare then you had a charmed life
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bigjhey79 says:Posted: 15 Sep 15
A person of any race should never beg for anyone's acceptance. I myself do not care if someone accepts me dating their daughter or not,it isn't any of their business.
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wtom says:Posted: 13 Sep 15
Do we sound a bit angry over a phenomena that everyone understands? Though you package yourself as a gentleman, tie, jacket, etc, your rhetoric doesn't match your clothes. The F word? Maybe the white father saw through your clothes since your lead sentence was full of anger. I'm over 60. I'm new to the interracial experience. I have found the black women on the site to be stunningly beautiful. But i've also noticed their anger at being mistreated by men in their profiles. But are black men trying to make a statement by dating white women? "Guess who's coming to dinner? Deal with it?" Does that mean i don't care what you think? Is "guess who's coming to dinner " a question? Can't we all just get along? And the black father doesn't want his son bringing home a white girl? And the beauty queen hopes for world peace.
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slowpokeZ28 says:Posted: 04 Sep 15
Whats crazy is my experience is the opposite, even to the point they insist on their daughter meet me. I've never haf a white father not "accept" me. I think maybe once a mom took a couple of meetings to win over, but never a dad. Its when I take her home to MY father that the caca hits the fan...
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Mosiah7 says:Posted: 23 Aug 15
Guess who's coming to dinner? Deal with it!
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blackbelle01 says:Posted: 12 Sep 15
Why does a WM have to deal with their daughter dating a BM.
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LoveTheorist says:Posted: 19 Aug 15
He cares too much about what their fathers think about him.
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Olive-oil says:Posted: 18 Aug 15
Man a lot of black guys are looked at in a negative way because a lot are know for shitting on women I.e cheating and hustling their women but it's quite f**ked up to tarnish them all. You should only judge by ones actions not color...how stupid
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blackbelle01 says:Posted: 08 Sep 15
No man wants his daughter to be a baby momma. BM have a bad reputation of not being their for the women in their lives so don't get mad if a WM does not want you dating or marrying his daughter. There are BM that don't want you marrying their daughters either and they are Black.
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RogueNinja6R says:Posted: 15 Aug 15
"Truth...... Drop the mic, walk off the stage".
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I too was given a choice, a choice that in turn had them choosing what was more important me or to not have me. I made my own choice on how to live my life, choosing myself, not a man, but myself because I have to live with me forever. It wasn't a matter of choosing person over person but choosing the type of people I wanted in my life and I chose people who could think a little deeper than the thickness of skin.