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Swirling with Christelyn Karazin

The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.

What?! Successful, Non-Black Men Don't Like Curly and Kinky Hair?! {Watch the Video}

Posted by Christelyn, 14 Aug

Recently, a much-discussed topic has been bubbling up about whether or not “men of means,” that is, successful and eligible, prefer women with straight hair, real or otherwise.

Relationship coaches and gurus are advising black women that they MUST wear long, straight weaves in order to elicit respect in elite circles, attention from high-value men, and respectful customer service at high-end shops.

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Sigh…

I have been natural since I was 18…when I decided that relaxers were just too much damn money to maintain when I was struggling to pay the rent. I took the plunge into no-heat natural styles 15 years ago. Since then, I have published a book by an international publisher (Simon & Schuster), been featured on CNN (twice), become the international spokesperson for InterracialDatingCentral.com, and quite frankly, been the object of interest and desire of millions of non-black men interested in dating black women.

black woman straight hair

I am also the wife of a man whose family lives in one of the richest counties in the country, with a father who is a superior court judge, and mother of an heiress to her father’s fortune. I have been to the country club, charity balls, fancy stores, and five-star resorts with my hair kinky and natural.

I say all that to say that my natural hair has never, EVER held me back from successfully mingling in the most elite circles.

african american woman in braids

Whether it be with braids…

Or with all my kinky glory.

kinky hair

As the brand ambassador for a major online dating site, I can say with 100% confidence that the idea that the need for black women to conform our coils in order to meet and marry successful men is absurd. Now…if you’re trying to attract a certain “type” of colorist, texturist man who hates his own reflection, you might need to slap some bone straight yaki on. Everyone else? Notsomuch.

I interviewed several non-black men who are high-achieving, well-heeled, and date black women on this issue, and all of them basically said that if they wanted a woman with straight hair, they could and would do so. The kinks and coils are part of the appeal. One such man who lives in one of the wealthiest suburbs in San Diego with a net worth of about $2.2 million said this: “I find joy in my partner’s blackness. I want her to be proud of what she sees because I am. Swirling is amazing because we retain what we are. Don’t blur the swirl by trying to be something I’m not really into at all.”

Lucky lady!

So ladies and gents, what say you about the straight vs. curly issue?

Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed. She also operates the popular blog, Beyond Black & White, and operate the first forum dedicated to black women interested and/or involved in interracial relationships.

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16 responses to "What?! Successful, Non-Black Men Don't Like Curly and Kinky Hair?! {Watch the Video}"

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  1.   Smartlady101 says:
    Posted: 04 Feb 20

    I'd been wondering the thoughts of non-Black men on this hair issue; and I'm super glad that you covered it. Many thanks.

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  2.   SMACKO says:
    Posted: 21 Jan 20

    Lol this is completely ridiculous and the most asinine article I've read in along time!!! First of all I have never heard of,,but suppose this happens,,any white guy ever talk about a Black womans hair and it's got to be straightened or else!!! Now with that being said I'll go to the suppose this happens!! If it gets to this point where a white man dictates too his Black girlfriend/wife's hairstyle and what style is appropriate I'll tell her one word of advice,,,,this is your decision so take my advice or not,,,RUN,,RUN FOR YOUR LIFE you're not a wife/girlfriend you're a fetish!!! My circle of friends composes of fortune 500 people to blue collar and if he's not happy with you and your hair straight or curly he's not comfortable with you and your skin color believe me I know from experience being I'm 50 years old and have dated Black women,,,my first girlfriend was Black and I know and hear what white men say!!!

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  3.   nawen says:
    Posted: 26 Sep 19

    It's nice to keep changing the hair styles according to the texture of your hair if the hair type is soft you can just comb it if it's hard its better to put on aweave. Any way my hair type is hard so I just put weaves

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  4.   cocoabaker says:
    Posted: 21 Sep 19

    I love natural hair! Its amazing - kinky or braids - I myself prefer that over a weave. I think natural beautiful. Its not my decision though how someone chooses to style their hair. The most important thing is that people are comfortable in their chosen style. But if someone if feeling pressured to straighten or wear weave - resist. Just be you.

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    • nawen says:
      Posted: 26 Sep 19

      That's nice to leave people with their own choices

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  5.   Tashwon says:
    Posted: 12 May 19

    The curlier the better the sheepdog look is not my forte!!

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  6.   dodgethis2k says:
    Posted: 08 May 19

    "What?! Successful, Non-Black Men Don't Like Curly and Kinky Hair?! {Watch the Video}" Not true. Unfortunately, every black woman I have dated straightened their hair. It was their call. I said nothing because I was dating them because I liked them, and they were more than their hair to me.

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  7.   Meche_ says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 18

    I have encountered wealthy white men who love brown skin, but expect her to wear a weave, and have encountered wealthy white men who love all of a black woman's blackness. The problem with this article, and a lot of the others, is that it attempts to lump people into one group with no diversity. There are white men that are okay with blackness. There are white men that are not okay with blackness. It's rather simple...

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  8.   bailes says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 18

    i am a successful white male. I love black women with natural hair; curly, straight, kinky, it doesn't matter; they look great. Please stop discussing things that i never come across in everyday life. either i am naive or most people including "succesful" white guys pay more attention to the person not the colour.

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  9.   Ringstee says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 18

    I think any kind of hair curly or strait,if it looks good for me then no problem.What matters is what sweets you as a man to your lady.then other junk comments i dont know this that....humm you leave me no choice but i love any kind of hair.

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  10.   JackOwen1 says:
    Posted: 21 Aug 18

    Personally, I like the curly or kinky locks. Natural is just fine for me.

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  11.   Preetysweet says:
    Posted: 21 Aug 18

    I love my natural hair, and I love my blackness.

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  12.   Paganinifan says:
    Posted: 20 Aug 18

    I love NATURAL hair on black women. I absolutely LOVE afros. I've loved the afro hair style since I was a small child (went goo-goo over Pam Grier movies of that period). The only hairstyle I do not care for on ANY woman is the short 'bob', which I see being the trend for SJW's. *eye roll* I also have to disagree with the gentleman who said that 80's punk hairstyles would be inappropriate. Inappropriate for who? There are successful people in the music industry (please, not rap, I refer to MUSIC) who would fall head over heels for that look. The only part of the rocker-chick look I am not a fan of is the shaved sides. Keep your hair long all the way around and just style it from there using gels and such. Also, that rocker look doesn't have to be a person's every day look. But maybe if you're going to a concert with your significant other. Just sayin'.

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  13.   RMBE320 says:
    Posted: 20 Aug 18

    I cannot speak for any other white men as that is my demographic, but personally, and this is my own personal preference, I like any hairstyle on a woman aside from cropped. I like any hair as long as its fitting for her. Obviously shaved sides and punk-rock '80 pink spiked metal rocker band member hair would be inappropriate for a woman to catch my eye, but I like kinky/curly just as much as straight. Just be you. If you strive to be what you think someone else likes, you will always be chasing an idea of a wonderful woman rather than being a wonderful woman.

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  14.   Mona67 says:
    Posted: 19 Aug 18

    Several Successful, Non-Black Men have told me that they prefer my hair when it's curly and kinky or in twists instead of flat iron. However, the S B's have asked for wigs and such?

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