What kind of Black woman dates a White man?
Black women who date white men have been labeled so many things. In fact some of these labels attached to black women white men relationships have been the main reason why most of these women choose to only date black men.
Some black women have been bombarded with the rhetorical question: "What kind of black woman brings home a white man" by their family and friends whenever there is the mention of a white man they are dating. And this question is never asked in a positive light. In an article by Sandy Banks in the LA Times, Banks tries to shows us some answers that reflect two conflicting opinions of this woman. Is she:
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"Open-minded or desperate; a champion of her gender or traitor to her race; someone who is culturally secure or trying to look away from her own black face?"
If you asked me, the kind of Black woman who has a white husband or boyfriend is one who is smitten with love… one who falls for, dates and marries a man who makes her happy no matter the race.
What is your opinion of this black woman?
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235 responses to "What kind of Black woman dates a White man? "
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Dian2350 says:Posted: 03 Feb
A woman who wants to be cherished and loved doesn’t see color she sees a good man who is looking for the same!
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Spiceeeee says:Posted: 17 Nov 23
A black woman that does not see skin color, we all bleed red.
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Leah4646 says:Posted: 26 May 23
No matter what color you are, it's what you like and desire to have in life to make you happy. If he really wants to be with you and you him thats all it matter, whether who likes it or not. It's the couples relationships and they can't live your life, you have to live you're own life. What makes you happy, don't let the next negative energy sad anger birds, mess up your happiness and understanding of what you want. Don't miss what for you, because that white man might be your path to a new beginning. Unconditional Love and ecstasy for a lifetime.
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tcnash64 says:Posted: 21 Aug 22
Black women have turned to white men because they are tired. Tired of their black men constantly taking from them, taking all they can take then move on to the next one. Through no fault of their own young black men who grew up with no father figure in the house never learned how to cherish a good woman who takes care of your wants, needs and desires. Never learned to pamper her, hold her, compliment her and show her she is the only woman you desire. Black womens' lives have been destroyed by this culture of black men and they grew tired. Tired of him disappearing for days on end, coming home broke and hungry, tired of him borrowing her car and he gets pulled over and has warrants and her car is towed costing her hundreds that she has to borrow. Tired of him messing around with other women bbringing drama to your house or catching his STD cause he doesn't understand how much of a queen you truly are. Without getting into history or politics, this was a plan by our government to destroy the black family under the false flag of government welfare act. The black women I have been with have loved the love and attention I showed them, which I thought was normal until I heard their stories.
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Attheend says:Posted: 10 Jan 23
As a black woman I have to agree with you. It's sad. That's why the black women who are raising young black young men today, are teaching them different to bring an end to this cycle. But it does go both ways ... Same for some white men. I've dated white men and are total selfish and players. It has a lot to do with the individual.. black or white.
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cass02 says:Posted: 03 Apr 23
Yes, I really think it depends on how much a Mom and Dad instills into a young man about the importance of honoring, respecting and cherishing women
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 20 Jan
A man who had a great relationship with his father is the kind of man for me. Particularly those whose fathers taught them to respect women.
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spong79 says:Posted: 25 Jun 22
we are all wonderful and beautifully made.
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Songbuddy says:Posted: 11 May 22
God loved humans irrespective of colour, or race. When he sent his son to die on the cross, he died for all mankind, black and white. God is love and love is God. As humans, can't we love whoever we want to love just like God did. Race or colour shouldn't be a barrier to ones love and happiness. Sometimes people fail to fibd true happiness and love among their own race and find it elsewhere in a different race. As long as one is happy, interracial relationships /marriage is a yes for me. That's why I'm still waiting for my white king, I know he is there.
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Lioness_1968 says:Posted: 11 May 22
I only date WM its called a preference and people have the right to date or marry whomever they want to date or marry.
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LadyCW says:Posted: 29 Apr 22
The kind of Black Woman that live her life as she chooses and willing to explore her options regardless of what others think or feel about
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Rejoh says:Posted: 28 Dec 21
Love is not all about color or race if you love each other and are both prepared to make it work for your happiness better go for it.love is a beautiful gift from God and it'feels good to love and have someone who loves you
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 06 Apr 21
I want a man who'll treat me right. I hate to say it, but, (other than by my Dad) I wasn't treated kindly by BM's. I was engaged to one, but was jilted. Then he had the absolute gall to get angry at me for dating a WM. What's it to him whom I was dating; as a married man, it was really none of his business. What's with some people wanting to have it both ways?
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Brunsugah says:Posted: 08 May 20
a woman n love. As long as there is love and respect in any relationship then people should be allowed to do what they like.
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Ogbejiji says:Posted: 20 Aug 19
As far she is black woman,she can date any types of white men
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Rainbeau78 says:Posted: 21 Jul 19
I am the kind of black women that will date and marry a white because i know what being love can be and is. I am the kind of black women that will date and marry a white man when The love is reciprocated and genuine and he has only the want to be with me and he is for me . I’m a black women that knows love has no color no smell or boundaries.
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Sapphirem38 says:Posted: 05 Jul 19
The kind of woman who's a part of the human race. A woman who desires to love and be loved in return. The kind of woman who's attracted to a man and if he happens to be white, so be it. Finally, a woman with the knowledge, wisdom, tenacity and compassion to understand love has no color. Personally, I openly date interracially and I date men I'm attracted to....period.
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tiny26180 says:Posted: 05 Jul 19
there is only 1 race the Human Race God made different shades there Good and Bad in everybody
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Siraj88 says:Posted: 24 Jun 19
Black women who do this are dumb women who have been conditioned by white america to hate black men and then these stupid women are silly and fail to see that these WONDERFUL whiteman oppress and kill black men. Black women have self hatred in there hearts that do this. To me if my daughter came home with one of these jokers I would do a mercy killing and go to jail. Trying to destroy another people that is all they want to do.
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LondUKMan says:Posted: 27 Jun 19
The hate is in you, not the women. Plenty of people can recognise other people as individuals, rather than as emissaries of a racist agenda. People should learn their history, know about racial injustices and violence, but there is no crime or immorality in dating someone of another skin colour.
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shairoze says:Posted: 15 May 21
I think he has a problem with blacks he's a racist and it's wrong.one should love whoever they choose
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 21 May 21
Get him, he accuses you of wanting to killing black people, yet he will kill his own daughter for dating/marrying a WM. He said so himself! I hope she keeps away from him for the sake of her safety. A REAL father would do no harm to his children, even if he doesn't see eye-to-eye with them on everything. Who says black people can't be racists?
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BigBri2017 says:Posted: 23 Jun 21
Excellent post Ruth. I’m a white man and totally agree with your comment. Thumbs up big time to you!
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 14 Aug 23
We simply can't stand bitter, resentful, irrational, even deadly, (per his intention to carry out an "honor killing" of his daughter for dating or marrying a WM) males like him. It makes no difference if they're black, white or whatever. We deserve better, even if it means venturing outside of our realms to find the loves of our lives.
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LondUKMan says:Posted: 27 Jun 19
And you claim to be Muslim? Guess that is NOI?
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Trish11 says:Posted: 27 Jun 19
That was cringeworthy to read. I threw up a little. We are not sheep to be “conditioned” in anyway. We are PEOPLE and are able to make conscious decisions in regards to our lives. We are not here to satisfy the masses (you and ANY who think as myopically as you do). We can think for ourselves. We like what we like and for you to say some stuff like this is despicable. “Mercy killing”??? Really??
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 01 Jul 21
He's probably sulking because he has NO woman at all. If he keeps it up with his wretched disposition, he won't get one, EVER!
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blackbelle01 says:Posted: 18 Apr 20
I only date WM its called a preference and people have the right to date or marry who ever they want to date or marry.
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Cher529 says:Posted: 28 Feb 22
I only date WM and preference that I was chosen a long time ago. Not the best of luck finding him. Hoping this time
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Ch3rryme says:Posted: 16 Mar 19
I'm that kind of black woman who dates white men . I am simply me. A woman entitled to date who she chooses . Who doesn't care what others think . You dont have to sleep with me or him . I worry not about who is with who and what they think or feel about who I'm with. If people mind their own business maybe hate could die off . I raised my children to love who ever they choose and dont apologize for doing so. I have never explained to anyone about why I date white men and at 50 I'm not going to start. Last I checked none cared for the career I chose either. So if it's not one thing it's another. Dont have time to waste explaining my life to someone who is miserable in their own . I spend my time getting to know people and one day I will meet someone who wants to really marry me and not just fulfill a fantasy so white men stand up and claim your queen who ever it my be. And good luck in your search
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Swirling74 says:Posted: 17 Mar 19
Thanks I can tell you are a caring human being what the world needs white man looing for his queen
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frndly1 says:Posted: 06 Jun 18
I agree with the article. I'm looking for a "Gentleman "that is my soul mate regardless of race.
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PureP says:Posted: 20 Jan 18
For me love knows no colour, i find fascination in our differences!
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Browneet says:Posted: 20 Jan 18
this is for me..why? because im attracted to wm thats why...my preference
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Jenneluv says:Posted: 18 Jan 18
White men are very caring ,understand you I'm any way feels your pain when you are having issues to handle I have never date a white before but I have a friend who is white the way he treats me checks on me any day any time even when is has a busy day he will let you know I can't say all but you will not get this from some of our black men so right now am Having strong feelings for white they gentle And sexy as well
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DC- says:Posted: 17 Sep 17
What kind? All kinds! You just have to be in the right location.
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tookman says:Posted: 14 Aug 17
I'm a white guy and my girlfriend is black. We don't like the same types of music,movies, t.v. shows, etc....she likes Sinatra (i find that slightly odd...lol) I like Slayer!!! I love bloody horror movies, they give her nightmares. When we're together just sitting and kissing each other, all is right with the world. There' s so much we don't have in common but when we're together...magic. I know the rest of the world hasn't caught up yet. We actually made a game out of seeing who would give us "the stare" any time we go out in public. Once we went to the movies and a black guy ahead of us in line gave me this stare as if to say "how dare you!!!!' I made it a point to wrap my arms around my girl even harder. She has two girls that I love like my own. I consider them my daughters now even though they're not. My point is.. you never know who you'll love until you let them in.
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SweetieShine says:Posted: 22 May 18
I think that's so awesome! I don't see color in a man, or woman. It's about the heart, who you fall in love with. That's what I'm looking for and Touche' to you for stepping up and being a good man. No matter your skin color. Many blessings and longevity in happiness to you both!
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milehime says:Posted: 18 Mar 17
Jezebel, i am not being harsh in my view. For many a year now they have portray how hard they have tried in relationship but really its shown they were the issue all along in our relationships and when guilt has set in on them they bounce and attempt to star in a feature film, "that's all it is" no substance.
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MilkNMyCofee says:Posted: 07 Feb 17
I've always been into white boys as far back as I can remember. I only stopped trying to peruse because of the racism in my town and for a minute I thought all white men hated black women. Now that I see it happening, I feel like I have a chance. Hopefully we can find love in a hopeless place. If you're like me and are into vlogging, go to YouTube and watch Gabebabe Tv. They're an interracial couple and are absolutely adorable!
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Naturall360 says:Posted: 16 Nov 16
I can only speak for myself. I grew up in Texas. I am dark skinned and some of my siblings are light skinned due to my great grandfather being white. However through out my child hood and into my teens, I was called names such as "tar baby, darkie" and made to feel as though I was not attractive simply because I was dark. In college, I was overlooked because I was dark so I never really dated. Therefore, I could not understand why I should wait around for a black man who accepted me in spite of my dark skin. I did not start dating white men until law school and this was mostly due to having common interests such as hiking, traveling, camping. (I am not saying that black men do not share the same things). I was also into all types of music from big band to Afro pop.. I also like heavy metal bands, and hard rock. This was because as a black child I refused to accept that I am inferior to any race and would not allow myself to be restricted from things I enjoyed because that's what white people liked. I am open open to dating all races because I am a confident, dark skinned, black woman. And I am attractive enough to attract whomever I choose to date.
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 22 Jan
I hate it when BM's put down darker-skinned women and call you "ugly"; some of them aren't exactly GQ models themselves! Worst of all, they have the absolute gall to get angry when/if they see you with a WM, wondering what they see in you. What a WM would see in you, are the very things BM's overlooked. Here at IDC, when you explicitly state your preference for WM's in your profile, some BM's bug you anyhow, then pout and cuss at you for being uninterested in them. That's so blasted annoying and inconsiderate! Godspeed in your search for the love of your life, one love thats of your own choosing.
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DiaBrownyEye says:Posted: 10 Oct 16
Honestly, it is the kind that was born that way. I once forced myself to date a black guy, it lasted a month and felt wrong from beginning to end. He was a great guy just not my cup of tea. I also think he was uncomfortable the whole time because even my closest friends all white. We were just far apart, our only common ground was engineering. That's not the life, I think love is about being happy and free around your significant other so if their very being is the source of your discomfort then why should you put each other through all that? However I believe there are black men out there who would blend perfectly with my lifestyle just haven't met them yet.
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ladybarb says:Posted: 27 Aug 16
The kind of Black woman that dates White men varies. Perhaps she has been mistreated by Black men and found a different and better treatment with white men. Maybe she grew up in a multicultural environment and race and culture easily accepted. Or, maybe she likes not having to discuss "the Black Problem" all of the time. She could be simply attracted to white men for a variety of reasons, intellect, looks, cultural differences,... who knows? You like who and what you like. Each of us has our own canvas and paints it our way.
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sokimi says:Posted: 06 Aug 16
This black woman is the kind of woman that dates white men. I love them!
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Dramafree11 says:Posted: 08 May 22
Good for you! I’m in the same boat, best of luck to you!
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LFAA850 says:Posted: 28 Jul 16
A woman who is sick and tired of being disregarded by Black men ; A woman who wants to have a life and not sit home along every weekend ; A woman who would like to get married and have a future with someone who can love and appreciate her and vice versa.
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DC- says:Posted: 14 Jan 17
The best answer to this article I've seen so far.
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 23 Aug 23
Right on the money, honey! Those are my thoughts as well.
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ALASSIO says:Posted: 26 Jul 16
My preferences for white men are more to do with sharing common interests.. I enjoy reading, museums, art & history. There aren't many black men who really enjoy these cultural leanings... I love walking round art galleries & libraries, but very rarely do I see black men in them. So what do we talk about?..I don't want to be made to feel that I am just an ornament, just to look good on his arm... Why do bm think they can just sweet talk me, I don't fall for any of that, I need a man with more substance...
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GOPCutie says:Posted: 23 Aug 16
I totally agree. I have no need to put down black men the way I've seen the other combinations insult their opposites to prop up the races of their choice. Instead, like you, I see it as common interests and nothing more. I like SciFi, comic books, role playing games like old school Dungeons & Dragons, reading/discussing literary classics, I don't like most hip hop/rap songs or the misogynistic vulgar lyrics, etc. I'd rather listen to soft rock, some alternative, classic r&b like Anita Baker or Teddy Pendergrass, or new age classical. Bottom line, there are just more white and Asian males interested in these topics. I love conversing with older, white male professionals over dinner and fine wine. And occasionally I have dated black men that share my interests, but black men are as multidimensional as white men in every other way and are great.
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Dramafree11 says:Posted: 08 May 22
I really enjoyed your response! Best of luck to you on your journey !
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Kitten49 says:Posted: 26 Jul 16
I guess I can only speak for myself as a black woman. It's usually the physical attributes of the white men I've met and their character. I love stroking their soft silky hair, looking into big brown eyes or blue. I love how patient and easy going they are and I am a lot to handle at times. They love me for me and not just what they can get, they are not nasty or disrespectful, don't talk down to me, beat me, belittle me or hate me. I think black men are extremely mean spirited and cruel even the ones who appear to be nice. I will trust a white man more than I do a black man and that is just my honest feeling.
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GOPCutie says:Posted: 23 Aug 16
Wow! So you've met every black man? And never ever heard of abusive white men? Lol! Guess you don't watch many Lifetime movies or bother to read crime stats against women in places like Denmark, Eastern Europe, or our South? My father, brothers, uncles, frat bros, etc., are not remotely as you described them, and I'm not a fat, tight clothes-wearing welfare recipient with kids out of wedlock. Can we not come on here and stereotype white or black men???? Because I am disgusted when black women and white women are generalized.
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NardiJMGirl says:Posted: 06 Dec 18
The OP does not have to have sampled every black man to speak from a place of certainty and experience. If you're familiar with the sciences, there's a method of research using what scientists call emptical data, where the attributes of a sample of randomly chosen subjects represent the population as a whole. Not because the entire population is necessarily exactly like that, but because there's an increasing likelihood of an attribute/behavior supported based on the attitudes/behaviors of randomly chosen subjects. So okay, stereotyping is undesirable, but can we accept that people speak from what their (oftentimes multiple of the same) experiences have taught them, or if they come from certain circumstances, those circumstances color their outlook based on what the norms are that they repeatedly observe? Agreeing to disagree is fine, but please, let's not gaslight by presenting questions like, "Have you sampled them all," when you know full well that there are many women traumatized by their dealings with multiple members of certain groups of individuals. That's a dumb question meant to invalidate and insult what might very well be someone's genuine and actual experiences and observations and it's not as genius a clapback as you think.
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NardiJMGirl says:Posted: 08 Dec 18
Correction: *empirical data, not emptical. Damn autocorrect.
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Sega1220 says:Posted: 08 Jun 16
I date white men because I find them to be extremely attractive, and attentive. White men have always accepted me for who I am, I never had to change my appearence or dumb down my intellect, just to make them feel more of a man. Now don't get me wrong I have ran into a few bad apples, however I considered them to be bad apples in that they just couldnt get it together personally, or mentally. Even though we didn't hit it off as a couple there was never any type of disrespect shown towards me.
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NYGriego says:Posted: 28 May 16
Anyone notice that a lot of these positive commenters without pics have removed their profiles?
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 01 Jul 21
They probably were blessed to have met someone and removed their profiles.
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Hotandsexy66 says:Posted: 14 Apr 16
The black woman who is secure in her own skin and who knows what she wants no matter what the color is love has no color that's the important thing love has no color, be happy and who you are and what step out show everyone that you can make your own choices color has no barrier it doesn't dictate your life you dictate your life and your happiness be happy black women with whomever you choose,
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luvgluve says:Posted: 21 Feb 16
I believe blackwomen desire whitemen because of professionalism traits, and compliments we give them!
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NYGriego says:Posted: 28 May 16
So nothing physical just the mental stuff and a few words? You make them sound easy to please. LOL..
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MzMecka1969 says:Posted: 18 Feb 16
I truly date whoever I want! I lived in a community where blacks and whites were equal. My childhood babysitter's were my neighbor's and they were Irish and Italian! My school was 50/50 and there were a lot of mixing! And the white boys were definitely looking at the sisters and this was the 80's! So it's just not a big deal to me at all!
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DC- says:Posted: 13 Feb 16
I've asked the question to Black women if they would date outside of our race. Most replied they would, but if the man were to approach her. I think it depends on location, preferences and personality. Rarely am I approached by White men in public.
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NYGriego says:Posted: 28 May 16
You don't have a pic on here so that doesn't help either
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rosej8 says:Posted: 10 Feb 16
i disagree with your opinion, there are many white males who doesn't even know how to treat a woman.. so no, the women isnt always smitten with love, sometimes white guys just want an experience which is disgusting.. i dont date those kind of white guys
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Shunii says:Posted: 09 Feb 16
No one should ever have to justify why they love someone of a different race. Even within our own race we are each different but we don't justify why we don't like the same things. We all were placed on this earth with a partner in design and if they happen to be of a different race that still doesn't take away from the undeniable connection you both share. I am open to life and every beautiful thing waiting to greet me. At the end of the day the goal is to love and be loved...period
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Brunsugah says:Posted: 02 Feb 16
A woman who keeps her heart and options open!
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CaramelBeaut says:Posted: 18 Jan 16
A black women that's open minded, a REAL black woman who doesn't see just the color of someone skin but can see and love that person (no matter what race) for who they are. A real black woman that's strong and that's not afraid of stepping over Barrier's that society "wants" us to be limited too. I've always and will be attracted to white men, and nothing will change that. I'll be damned if I let someone tell me who I can and can't date or worry about what others have to say because I CHOSE to be in a IR. I'm so over the nonsense, it's 2016, get over it. Love wins, hate doesn't.
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Ruth116 says:Posted: 18 Apr 21
It's 2021 now, but your message is still relevant. Blessings on your quest in seeking Mr. Wright, he's out there --- somewhere.
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penelope77 says:Posted: 14 Dec 15
A woman who is not afraid of what people might say and compromise her happiness.One is wants to be loved ,serenade with love and respect. You can't let the fear of what people will say or think stop you from doing what you want to do or else we would never do it
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NeeNeeNitra says:Posted: 13 Dec 15
A woman who is open minded to all races. Color should never matter.
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BelleTay says:Posted: 07 Oct 15
The kind that's confident in who she is. She laugh's at the thought of having to explaining or defend her life choices to anyone. Last but not least one that wants to be celebrated not tolerated.
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Robby2u says:Posted: 04 Oct 15
The kind that's looking for that special kind of treatment from a spectacular man that they haven't found in their own race. Just face the truth that women are tired of being the punching bags of the relationship and want someone they can connect with.
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It has to do with the person heart white or black it don't matter love is love