Is Black Media Responsible for Manipulating Us with #BlackLove

Since 2010, my critics–many of them in so-called “black media–have argued that a site like Beyond Black & White don’t need to exist. If black women want to interracially date and marry, they have the freedom to do it. Just swirl, and shut up and go away. Don’t promote it. It looks so desperate.

But it’s not considered “desperate” that black media outlets like BET openly shade ABC’s First Bachelorette, Rachel Lindsey because she didn’t choose Eric Bigger, the guy this outlet can’t stop licking (the feature is like, ridiculously long and fawning). It’s another multi-page ego stroke for black men and a pretty overt message to black women that they should, in fact, always be checking for the brothers first. This, despite the absolute irrefutable FACT that black men date and marry interracially at TWICE the rate of black women, and upwards of 30% if they are educated.

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Here’s the shade:

"Lindsay stunned America by nailing the title of America’s first Black Bachelorette and then epically failing at scoring the love of her life, first by breaking up with crowd favorite Peter Kraus (also a trainer… we’re sensing a pattern) and then by dumping Bigger and choosing a reality TV show veteran who promised her a proposal. She and her new beau are currently flaunting their love on the press circuit, hitting up everything from the morning shows to New York Fashion Week. Believe me, we were just as shocked when Rach sent him packing on that three-hour marathon of a final episode and even more shocked when ABC finally revealed he wouldn’t be the one giving the roses away for season 22 of the blockbuster franchise. But then again… maybe we shouldn’t be.

Coming off the high of ABC crowning it's first-ever Black Bachelorette, we were 100 percent rooting for #BlackLove all the way (hello, we’re Black Entertainment Television), so f*ck yeah, we ride with Issa Rae on that bias. The fact is healthy Black couples don’t get enough airtime on mainstream TV."

First off, Bryan is a chiropractor. He isn’t some reality show loser. And he didn’t promise a proposal, he actually followed through. And as far as “flaunting,” what…BET, are they supposed to go hide, like how you think all black women in interracial couplings should do?

This is why I hate this.

You know damn well black women are in a relationship and marriage crunch. You know damn well black men are dating Mei Ling, Harnisha, Maria, Jessica and (maybe) Keisha, and make absolutely NO APOLOGIES. You know damn well that black people have the lowest marriage rates and the highest divorce rates, and there’s a mismatch when it comes to eligible black men who are also degreed and comparably employed. You know this because no doubt you were nodding in agreement when a host of comedians and self-proclaimed “relationship experts” told black women to lower their standards because degrees don’t keep them warm at night. Well here’s some news–black women want more than a hump of flesh stealing the covers. We want builders. We want protectors. We want providers. We don’t want to be beasts of burden who should just be happy with any old piece of a man in the name of #BlackLove.

Luckily, many black women in the comments section caught on to the shade against Rachel, so that gives me a sliver of hope.

“I guess Eric Bigger left out the part where he admitted that he hasn’t dated a Black woman in the past 5 years before coming on the show because he lives in LA! Which is fine, it's his dating choice….BUT! That’s pretty ironic and typical for the author of this bet article to try to tear down Rachel, a Black woman for her non-Black love choice & not choosing Eric, a Black man who has ADMITTED not dating a woman LIKE Rachel (Black woman) in 5 years!!!!! This double standard is pretty disgusting BET…smh!”

This is what I’m talking about. All the passes are given to black men who make excuses why they pass up legions of available, beautiful and accomplished black women for other races, and it is NEVER questioned. Do these outlets think we’re that stupid? I guess so.

“Thanks Bet for the article, however, if Rachel Lindsey were not the lead on the show, no one would have gotten to see or know Eric. She allowed him to remain on the show to get the exposure he needed to build his brand. Let’s celebrate them both and not try to tear her down. No, he wasn’t the one to get away from Rachel, she’s with the one she wanted.”

“The least you could have done was write an accurate article. Bryan didn’t just promise Rachel a proposal. He proposed. You could have sung Eric’s praises without attempting to denigrate Rachel. Rachel selected a fiance for herself, not Black America. Ms. Ortiz, I suggest you start living your life according to the whims of strangers. Practice what you preach.”

“BET you cheapened the interview with Eric by trying to bring down a Black woman. Shame on you. Your so-called readers deserve better than this crap. But then we all know you’re not really for African Americans since you’re owned by VIACOM. The least you could have done is ask Rachel AND Bryan for an interview this way it could have been an INFORMED interview instead of this article full of cheap hate and envy towards someone you obviously don’t know.”

Guess it’s too much at this point to ask the black media to stop guilting and manipulating black women so that black men can continue to exploit single, desperate black women who buy into their bullshit. Guess I shouldn’t expect much from a network that promoted the degradation of the black woman’s image for decades through (c)rap music. It’s clear who you favor. We see you.

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