Are Black women and Asian men being sidelined?

Posted by Ria, 29 Oct

I'm always blogging about how White guys are getting the hot Asian women… but let's not forget Black guys dating White women.

One thing that made me sit and think for a moment is… "Are there fewer white men that are willing to date black women… and even fewer white women willing to date Asian men?" It’s like Black women and Asian men are being left on the sideline when it comes to the interracial dating game. So why is this?

Find your soulmate on InterracialDating.com

When it comes to online dating, Black women and Asian women seem to be disadvantaged. Men of all races usually claim to be open to dating men of all races but they seem to have reservations when it comes to Black women. Similarly, women who claim that they just want to find a nice, kind, respectful man, who say physical preference is not a deal-breaker seem to pump their brakes at Asian men.

Whether we like it or not, this is evident online and also with other match-making services. The profiles of Asian men and Black women rank lowest when it comes to the numbers of other singles showing interest in them. They seem to get fewer messages as well as fewer matches. Matchmaking services also say that these two groups are the hardest to find matches for.

There is the emasculation of Asian men by the media for years that seems to have translated to a self-fulfilling prophecy that ended up giving birth to an actual non-attraction to Asian men in real life.

As for black women, the media portrays them as sassy, strong women who emasculate men. Society makes them appear to be more masculine than women of other races making people assume that they are effeminate, hence physically less attractive.

Asian men and black women are having a harder time dating because of the societal constructed beauty standards and stereotypes. On the other hand, Asian women and Black men are doing so much better with Asian women being idealized as being more sexual and more feminine and Black men as more masculine and well endowed.

Then there is also a different spin to all this... maybe Black women and Asian men probably aren’t interested in dating outside of their own race...

The other thing about Asian men and Black women is that this particular interracial combo is also rare. Black woman-Asian man couples are sometimes even ridiculed as poor matches by whites, blacks, and Asians alike. Is this combo freakish as some people who have never seen such a couple put it?

I believe when people finally get over their rigidity and put a human face to black woman-Asian man relationships eventually they will respect this combo as much as most Americans accept and even laud some other types of interracial unions.

Well, I think this would be one viable option to consider in interracial dating… Seeing as Black women and Asian men are the least likely groups to be matched online, maybe they should consider dating each other more. That way we will see a rise in Asian Men Black Women couples and then maybe, we will stop gawking when we see them. What do you make of it?

476 responses to "Are Black women and Asian men being sidelined?"

Leave a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

  1.   ethereal99 says:
    Posted: 01 May 08

    Ok, it was said that black women & Asian men should start dating more. Why? if they don't feel it then leave it alone. For some people, there is little opportunity for this & others are just not interested. We all have the right to fantasize about & be aroused by whomever we choose. And have fun doing it !

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  2.   euridicey says:
    Posted: 01 May 08

    Maybe it is odd in america and england but my great grandfather was chinese and my greatgrandma was black i think this sort of mixture happened quite abit in the carribean mainly montserrat as did alot of interacial relationships

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  3.   euridicey says:
    Posted: 01 May 08

    Maybe it is odd in america and england but my great grandfather was chinese and my greatgrandma was black i think this sort of mixture happened quite abit in the carribean mainly montserrat

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  4.   akbar says:
    Posted: 01 May 08

    Hey Jay is being funny or sarcastic. Come on no bigger than a bic lighter. If that is true then of course they will have trouble keeping females. No matter how much females say it is the moment not the size that matters. In all seriousness black women are not on the sidelines. Do you see how many dymes their are on this site? Men of all nationalities should love black women.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  5. Posted: 16 Apr 08

    Having dated an Indian man, having mutiple SouthAsian friends, and had Asian friends growing up.. I must comment that the three cultures are very different. (For those of you who think all Asians are alike) But a common theme is that any group of people with very strong cultural norms will have a hard time marrying outside of their culture, but less of a hard time having casual affairs. and mossimo.. all I can say is :(

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  6.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 15 Apr 08

    True enough Hydrabadchik. I can see them wanting a black or white woman for sex only, then getting the social pressure from their family to marry their own. Here in the US there was a case of a Indian father having a contract killer murder his black daughter in law. Very sad indeed

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  7. Posted: 15 Apr 08

    I live and work in South India. I've lived here for 4.5 years. I'm 40+ and have been frequently 'approached' by Indian men. They've made it clear that they're interested in and expect casual sex only. Expats and locals alike explain that I'm supposed to "understand" this expectation because the local Indian men only know black women from hip-hop videos. I have no interest in being understanding. I do realize that around the world, there's a point of view regarding black women that won't change soon. I'll talk to anyone but I'm very careful. In the court of appearances in this culture, Indian men have the social advantage. If anything bad happens to any western female, this culture will first ask: "Why were you there?" "Where's your husband?" "Travelling alone???" I was once in a Bangalore nightclub, wearing flats, jeans, and a loose fitting t-shirt. (Yes, I dress conservatively. I'm over 40 and have never been slender or petite.) There were white and Indian women around me in minis, tank tops. But I'm the one who got approached with "price is no object"! Asians are interested because in their minds, we have no moral standards. Many are curious and most find us easier to target for sex. When settling down, they choose Asian women.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  8. Posted: 15 Apr 08

    Isnt this post about black women and asian men?

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  9.   des_pes says:
    Posted: 14 Apr 08

    Why am I scared of black women. I am a black guy. I have to be extra careful when I deal with black women. When its on its really on with the sistas, mostly though I am happy to get out with my skin from the get go. I do understand where the sistas come from. There is unbelievable social pressure on the black woman. She has to be extra protective and more shielded. Brothers don't make it easy, we lie and cheat more than other men to get the cookie box, we play and when there are children we are willing to abandon them. Its all the legacy of racism but please "black women" just be a little more easier. That's all we ask.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  10. Posted: 11 Apr 08

    Interesting point Chika... From my observation.. it seems that asian culture is really into hip hop and african american culture.. its only a matter of time before we go from attending cocerts together to actually dating.. I have always been friends with asian and southasian communities In elementary school my best friend was chinese.. and she secretly loved janet jackson and salt and pepa.. but complained over the fact that her parents would only allow her to dat chinese. She hated the guys the set her up with.. and grew up to have many black female friends.. As an adult I hang out with a lot of south asains. One of my filipino guy friends knows neo soul almost as good as me :)The asians I know all tend to have the 'jabawookee' hip hop vibe as the last poster brought up. They (as a culture) can only hate on black females for so long.. I mean we are the mothers of the men their women date..... cute is cute. and cross cultural.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  11.   chika says:
    Posted: 05 Apr 08

    what about the kind of asian men that were on that mtv show... I think they were called jabawokeez?

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  12.   cutie says:
    Posted: 23 Mar 08

    The asian community in UK, the majority of asian people prefer the lighter skinned. And this for both men and women. its funny what they tend to class as 'dark skinned' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQR7OHR57YA&NR=1

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  13.   Erikajon says:
    Posted: 22 Mar 08

    There are so many different faceted answers to this question. I, myself, have also pondered this issue, being that the work I do allows me to encounter many people from various Asian cultures. One of the reasons these two have not co-mingled can be addressed as follows: The Asian man is a fierce competitor when in business and steadfast and loyal to his cultural ethics. Most are well-educated and powerhouse money-makers and continue to see the woman as subserviant and submissive. With these unrelenting attitudes towards women, to find an Asian man who would attempt to couple with an African American or Afrikana woman would mean he would have to relinquish his ideal or beliefs of a woman's "place" in the home, which he is reluctant and unwilling to do. Bottom line: As fierce as the Asian man is in the desire to make the almighty dollar, the Black woman possesses the same fierceness in inner-strength and independence. She will not succumb to being subserviant or submissive to any man of any race. The strong black woman is therefore intimidating, if not unapproachable, to the Asian man.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  14.   mocha says:
    Posted: 12 Mar 08

    I am of mixed race my daughters father is phillipino when we were together it even took some getting used to for me to us out together we got some looks but nothing negative

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  15. Posted: 01 Mar 08

    First of all, let me clear up the rumors that Beyonce and Vanessa are mixed. I have seen both of their parents and they both have two black parents. And trust me, Beyonce looked a lot more black before she got a nose job and they started retouching her pictures to make her look even lighter. The media is pretty messed up that way. And it's true that this AM/BF pairing is rare here and in Asia, but in some parts of Europe (especially England) and some parts of the Caribbean it is much more common. North America and Asia are just way behind on the pickup. Also, some Asian groups are more accepting than others. Typically Cambodians and Fillipinos are more accepting than Chinese and Koreans (in America and Asia that is). Oh, btw, I have never actually dated an Asian man, but I've had crushes on them, and have been asked out by them before (Fillipino, Korean, Chinese, etc). So it's not totally impossible :)

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  16. Posted: 27 Feb 08

    I am a black woman and I had met my boyfriend who is chinese. O and I am a dark skinned woman. I say that because it seems that a man from a different race would rather pick a light skinned black woman over a dark skinned one from what people have told me and that is not true. I am beautiful and I attract many men from different races, just for the sterotype to be crushed people would believe a man who is white, spanish, asian etc would prefer light skinned over dark skinned and that is not true obviously because it depends on the man and what he likes not by the complexion or race. But anyways that's another topic lol, I love him dearly and to be honest this is the first asian man I have been with. Not to say that I wasn't attracted to them before its just that I never seen them really approach black woman from where I am from, but they have always seemed to be attracted to me but have never physically came up to me and wanted to be my boyfriend but they have told me how pretty I was and that's how far its gotten. But back to the subject lol I have no preference I have been with black, white, spanish, and now asian. I think this is the end of the line for me because my boyfriends and I want to get married and we have so much in common with one another. I never knew that we would when I first met him but he is smart, tall, and so attractive with his long jet black hair that is sexi!!!!!!!! Lol!! But honestly I believe people should open their minds to many different people because you never know when you'll meet Mr. Or Mrs. Right!!!!! So I say expand your mind and open your heart, color doesn't matter becuase if it did wouldn't you have the choice to pick what color you wanted 2 become when you were born? So I say whatever you feel is right do it and believe in it!!! ~peace~

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  17. Posted: 27 Feb 08

    I am a black woman and I had met my boyfriend who is chinese. I love him dearly and to be honest this is the first asian man I have been with. Not to say that I wasn't attracted to them before its just that I never seen them really approach black woman from where I am from, but they have always seemed to be attracted to me. I have no preference I have been with black, white, spanish, and now asian. I think this is the end of the line for me because we want to get married and we have so much in common with one another. I never knew that we would when I first met him but he is smart, tall, and so attractive with his jet black hair that is long and sexi!!!!!!!! Lol!! But honestly I believe people should open their minds to many different people becuase you never know when you'll meet Mr. Or Mrs. Right!!!!!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  18. Posted: 20 Feb 08

    I`m a bw and I`ve dated bm,wm, and a hispanic ive always loved asian things and people and their food.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  19.   jay says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 08

    This is an interesting subject. I am an asian man and I'll be the first to admit that some asian men are very small. One of my Korean female friends said she was done with Korean guys because all the Korean guys she'd been with were no bigger than a bic lighter. That said, as nutritional intake changes, it seems that there are bigger asian men these days in every sense. The other factor is that many asian men come from traditional families where the sons carry on the family name. In Korea, many families have a detailed genetic history mapped out in books of lineage. They are strongly encouraged by familial pressure to marry within the race. The same pressure is not always applied to females, as they are not expected to carry on a lineage in the same manner. That is why you will not see many Korean males with women of different ethnicities or even nationalities unless their nuclear family is very liberal relative to the Korean norm. As there are more 2nd and 3rd generation Koreans in America, you are likely to see this shift, but this is the state of the matter in current times.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  20.   Bianca17 says:
    Posted: 11 Feb 08

    Hi I'm a black female. I'm 18 years old and i'm really attracted to asian males. I think that they are very handsome. I have had some experience with asian guys, and i wouldn't trade it for the world. I hope that one day I can find and marry one. Wish me luck!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  21.   Member says:
    Posted: 05 Feb 08

    I do think that it isn't recognized as much as the other interracial relationships out there, but it really does need to be. I have personally always like people for people and race didn't really matter to me but for some reason Asian or Pacific islander guys just popped out to me as pure hotness and just made me melt, still do and always will. Even though I am engaged to a black male after having three previous relationships with Asian males I still am happy with my experience. I have always had plenty of crushes of course but never pursued them just how it was. It is rare because it isn't produced out in the public as fully okay. Black and White relationships are pumped into the media like everyday but it is rare for others I think that if there were other relationships put out there it would be a lot more common. Black Females and Asian Men are the Top two people that are will remain unmarried in the United states ya know(I got that from the Vh1's 'In the race we lust').

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  22.   Azn_Guy says:
    Posted: 30 Jan 08

    Hey, i'm an asian guy Just read everything and i agree am/bf couples are a rarity, only seen them through pics on the net. I find black women to be very attractive, there are, however, a few reasons why i haven't dated. 1) I know that we'll be getting a lot of bs, but i probably ignore it 2) Im kind of a couch potato, and no woman wants that, so i need to better myself. But once i do, it wont matter to my family, since a large portion of the family i know is black anyway. Oh, and Simon123, aint nothing wrong with you...something wrong with them.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  23.   Simon123 says:
    Posted: 30 Jan 08

    i am 17 yr junior (im a girl) in hs..... and i feel like i am not really counted as good looking or beauitful where i live (ME) im the only person of color in my class of 2009.. im a cheerleader pretty outgoing nice and i think pretty personable... guys here just dont see me as attractive or even good lookin i dont think im bad but they must think i look like shit!... im always seen as the FRIEND and not as the girlfriend... what is the matter with me!! pce

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  24.   tigerlilies says:
    Posted: 13 Jan 08

    I have a few friends that are half asian half black. Some of their moms were black and the dad was asian. It's rare, but it does happen.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  25. Posted: 13 Jan 08

    How many times do you really see Asian men with Blk women? Come on! Why even bring this subject up? Their cultural is differnt, And taught to stay in their race. Why is it that black people are always being put down in a sarcastic way? I don't think black women are being sidelined at all, Because we want white men NOT Asian men. I see several black women with white men, And if white men like Asian women, Who cares? I DON'T!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  26. Posted: 13 Jan 08

    How many times do you really see Asian men with Blk women? Come on! Why even bring this subject up? Their cultural is differnt, And taught to stay in their race. Why is is that black people are always being put down in a sarcastic way? I don't think black women are being sidelined at all, Because we want white men NOT Asian men. I see several black women with white men, And if white men like Asian women, Who cares? I DON'T! Best Of luck to everyone.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  27.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 08

    I was married to a South Asian woman and her parents lived with us for a while. I know firsthand the prejudice I saw against Black people in general, and how xenophobic the culture is. She was disowned by her family for a time for daring to go against the culture and marry a white man. Of course, in the end it did not matter as we did not get along and it ended in divorce sadly enough. Best of luck to anyone heading down this path.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  28.   Salsera77 says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 08

    Addendum to my comment above: To Black Women thinking about dating an Asian Man. This is from my experience but of course you can do what you want. I dated an asian man for 5 years. Yes, it was serious and there was a proposal of marriage. However, I would not date an asian guy again and wouldn't recommend it to black women. Black women need to be adored, loved and seen for the intelligent capable women we really are not for the stereotypes and prejudices stuck in someone's head that eventually come out. We also don't need someone's else's family being unkind to us for no reason especially when we show ourself to be decent and kind people to someone's son. That's not the kind of family you want to marry into. You want to be loved and accepted for you. When your family treats anyone you decide to marry kindly and you don't receive that in return from his family that's a big red flag. Do you really need this? There were other things that severed the relationship too. He said he was a Christian but for him culturally, things like "leaving and cleaving" in a marriage were not going to work. Of course if you are not being serious with an asian guy, then date away if you want. I, myself still wouldn't even just date an asian guy because now I know what their families tell them. I also know how much the females in their families dislike black women and do you need this in your life? Are looking for romance/dating or are you looking for a fight? I did seek advice from an Amerasian woman who filled me in on Asian culture (I'll leave out specifically which Asian culture). Everything I had observed was true. I have to leave out a lot for the interest of space. All in all, it was lovely in the beginning (just dating) but then I didn't know his mom was trying to poison him because he was dating me. My well wishes to those trying this, You're gonna need 'em.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  29.   2ute4u says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 08

    I've dated Two Asian men while I was a young girl:East and South Asian, neither of their parents approved. These cultures are very rigid, bordering on xenophobia. They most likely aren't strong enough to stand up to their families and live their truth, if they should fall in love w/ someone outside their own ethnicity. I still see this to a great degree, and yet it moving slowly, case in point my nephew is engaged to a Philipino young woman. Shoot, he's always dated Asian women, but the parents would stereotype black folk. This is my reason for not wanting to fight anyone to be accepted, I love my black self and not wanting to have to adjust this part of me.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  30.   Lenaiah says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 08

    As a BW, I have ALWAYS found lots of Asian men to be very attractive. Maybe it's the fact that I am of Caribbean heritage...maybe it's that I am short so men of shorter stature are not discriminated against by me... maybe I'm attracted to that inner peace and quiet strength that most Asian men seem to project... maybe all of the above and more. BUT, even with this attraction, I have NEVER been approached by an Asian man. Or the instances one has caught my eye, he is usually in a group of other Asians and definitely not giving me a vibe that he is interested in me. In some ways, such as making the first move, I am "old-fashioned"... I like for the guy to approach me first. In my experience, that dynamic turns out to produce the more sincere (albeit, fewer) interests. But if a guy is shy (like alot of Asian men seem to be), then that first step never happens. All I can say to the Asian guys who may be reading: (1) Don't let cultural stereotypes restrict you from dating us, or even getting to know us. (2) Be braver; all of us won't reject your advances... I know I wouldn't.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  31.   nick_86 says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 08

    I adore men that come in all shapes, sizes and colors. I thnk people THINK to much tese days. If we just started feeling more than moe doors would open for us. Men are men they all love, care, behave, or not. They are looking for that somethng special from someone special. I think asian menshould actively pursue women of color we are grounded, caring, giving, sucessful and and want what everyone else wants...... to be loved, respected, cherished, cared for and most of all to b part of a team that see's only each other and the beauty that is created.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  32.   Salsera77 says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 08

    I know OsaP. I hear ya. I need to move from where I live. as I've very attracted to Caucasian men but there seems to be a racial divide or either they are afraid. Anyway, I dated an Asian man for 5 years. It was lovely in the beginning but stuff with his family, and prejudice eventually severed the relationship. Even he had ingrained prejudices that eventually came to the forefront. Anyway, he was tall 5'10",not too skinny and LIKED to eat SUSHI... ...something any man needs to learn to like to eat as 2/3's of all women are wired this way!!!! ...That is if he cares about his woman's pleasure too.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  33.   OsaP says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 08

    Personally, as a black female, I love Asian men. I'm actually not very attracted to men of my own race and never have been. Sometimes I wish I lived in Europe or the Caribbean or where ever these types of couples are better accepted so I could be hit on by someone that I'm actually attracted to.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  34.   Island says:
    Posted: 07 Jan 08

    Hello! I'm from Belgium, but born in the caraibean. My boyfriend is filipino, we have two daughters! The oldest is 16 month, the youngest 5 month:) I don't have any problem with his family, they love me :) but... we have a lot of problem with the african men here! Theynot able to understand why a black female want to date an asain guy!When we are in the city or goning out, we get a lot of dirty look from the African people en whites here just don't understand it...They eyes always pops out! :) There so stupid! I've always had someting for asian men, i just think there so handsome! The first boy I was in love with, was alsof an Filipino. When I was 14 (23 now) I knew the father of my children would be an asain men, i never date any whites en one time a black men ( never again, the boy was crazy) When i was in highschool my classemates said i was crazy, because they don't believe asain men are handsome. The first thing they asked me was: Does he has a big one...and all of my classemates whore whites.. Hope you can read what i'm trying to say! Love a person, not the color..Tu revais d'une amour, tout en soie et velour... Dag, groetjes!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  35.   asianguy says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 08

    I am from Canada. The best looking girl I have seen in my 15 years in this country was black girl. She was mixed with white but her skin was dark/black. She was very cute though. But she was surrounded by three white canadian boys. I thought that was bs considering how they would normally think about black and asian people.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  36.   nisey says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 07

    I am currently dating a chinese guy , and he is wonderful! I am supposed to go to China next year to meet his parents. I am a little nervous about meeting them. But he has already told them about me and they had saw photos of me. They can't wait to meet me . for all people in this world , please stop looking at color and race. Look at the humanity. I was once narrowed this way and then became opened minded ,and found a true treasure in my life. My family loves him as well.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  37.   Member says:
    Posted: 23 Dec 07

    I am married to a Chinese man and have never had anyone say anything rude to us. I have unfortunately gotten slightly dirty looks from Black men and women, and well it's a damn shame. If Black women keep their options limited the majority will remain husbandless. I am happier than I ever thought possible and it's because I allowed myself to fall in love with the person (although very handsome) and not the fact that he is an Asian man. I can't imagine anyone making me happier than he does! I think that it's important for Black women to expand their options instead of pining away for some White or Black prince in shining armor never to come! I've always dated outside of my race and it totally surprised me that I would have so much in common with an Asian man and that we would be soul mate types... blew my mind and I'm glad!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  38.   Another says:
    Posted: 20 Dec 07

    Hi there, I'm an Asian guy. I grew up in a military area where white/korean and black/korean families were commonplace, with many of them being my friends. However, those families always consisted of a white or black man and an asian woman. I have never seen an AM/BW relationship before, but I am completely open to it, as I've learned to accept everyone regardless of race. I have had a crush on a black girl before, and I was drawn to her because of her great personality. I currently have another female friend who is half black and half Korean, and she always gets complements of how pretty she is.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  39.   moxy12 says:
    Posted: 16 Dec 07

    ChibiMethos...do not marry someone just because you wish to be married. Hang in there and keep your options opens.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  40.   Member says:
    Posted: 06 Dec 07

    I grew up in a multi-culture environment and after years of being an 'isolationist' now view mixed relationships as a necessity. Anyway the supposed demarcations between races is superficial we are all one race, even if that sounds cliched. We are all a part of the human family - homo sapiens and the minute differences are not apparent genetically. Our focus should be to accept ourselves as we are, regardless of height, weight, race, big ears, small ears, etc. and then accept each other. It's not that difficult, you would think, but the fact that the same old same old are being churned out year after year means we still have a long way to go. If you are in a 'mixed' relationship - good for you, if you are not, good for you too. It should not make a jot of a difference. The internet is a fabulous way of linking people across the globe and I am glad to have this opportunity to share my thoughts with you all. Zee Harrison

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  41.   Leeann says:
    Posted: 15 Nov 07

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIbxxH3ZcCg AM-BW: Friends, Couples 'n Fam.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  42.   ChibiMethos says:
    Posted: 01 Nov 07

    I am a black female, and to be honest, if I had my druthers, I'd only date Asian men. But I agree with Starthai, many asians have a vey low opinion of blacks, and the ones that are willing to try to see beyond their family's disaproval are treated badly themselves, not to metion the disaproval the woman will have to endure from her family. Also, while the offspring from such unions are often very attractive, many Americanized Asian parents would rather have their child marry someone white, so that their children will be lighter. I believe the other issue is approachability. I have one friend who is Chinese, and he is adorable, but he only wants to date white girls. So, we'll just be buddies and that's it. Once you sit down and consider all these things, it's just easier to either go it alone,or begin the slow, desperate search for an educated, black male with a good job and no kids who isn't related to you.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  43.   DeeAnn says:
    Posted: 31 Oct 07

    This post need more ASIAN MEN to SPEAK UP! We know where the females stand on am/bf relatioships. Ann - Go Saints

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  44.   DeeAnn says:
    Posted: 31 Oct 07

    To Queendom70114: I agree with you in the south a bf with any other race of man is a surprise to most people and this is one reason why it is not that easy for most bf to go beyond what we may consider the normal dating situation. However, all females and especially bf need love, a higher level of education, companionship, patience, financial security, the need to feel safe and secure, and God in her life. I wish you and yours well and I hope his family treasures you exactly the same way your family treasures him. Ann - Go Saints

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  45.   Alaru says:
    Posted: 31 Oct 07

    I think the Asian culture is such that marrying within the culture is highly promoted. When I worked in South Korea I did see alot of BM/AW couples in Seoul but that was probably due to the exposure over a long period to Black people due to the military base there.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  46. Posted: 26 Oct 07

    I am happily involved with a guy who is half white and asian. We live in the SOUTH in Metairie (which is a mostly white, formerly Harry Lee run city in Jefferson Parish). While at first I was not so shocked by the looks we got, because I had dated outside of my race before, I noticed that black men were fist to make comments like "awww damnnn... she with him?"). However, we have been together three years now. He is one of the most sensitive people I have met and although we have gotten through the most awkward issues, we accept the differences and learn things from eachother. Granted I am a young 36 and he is a very YOUNG 45, and we are both professionals (Legal and Medical), we still behave like decadent kids together. However, we are planning our lives together and cannot wait to have a children when he finishes his Masters Program. I have to be honest and say that I became frustrated with some of the educated black and white guys I dated in my past. I personally observed that most black and white professional men have 1980s mindesets (i.e., party party party all the time). Quite honestly, as a I became tired of the game and I dropped to my knees and prayed for someone who would just love me and our lives together, and who would protect me our family, and be faithful friend and be a partner (and I specfied that I did not care WHAT race he was). And the rest speaks for itself. I think my Amer-asian guy and I are quite happy. Oh, my family loves him and his family thinks I take good care of him.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  47.   Starthai says:
    Posted: 21 Oct 07

    I like your post Leeann, very inspiring. I bet you are very beautiful, even though I have no taste for Asian men I think the offsprings of Black and Asian comes out very beautiful. Thanks for the post :)

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  48.   Leeann says:
    Posted: 20 Oct 07

    I was brought up in a Black,Asian parent home setting, and I came out just fine. I am sure my parents, parents (My grandparents) had problems with the coupling but they (My parents) stuck it out and had me "smiles". I have a mixture of African American and Asian Features with dark skin, and I am always being told how pretty I am. My Mother is Black and Father Asian. I have 2 other sibblings that were just like me. I am 25 years old and I have my own company. I graduated college. I was raised with other multi-cultured famlies like mine, and their children were my friends that I played with and hung out with. So to me it was normal!! Even when some bigot said different. I feel the reason you may not see couples like my parents is because I know my family was OVER protective. We did go out and traveled, but they wanted to avoid the chaos of society. We are here just hidden and protecting ourselves from crazy people LOL...SO if you want to date then DATE! Why make it harder then it is? When it just comes down in the end to you and that person. So hope this has helped or gives you some insight to my life and how it was for me being a child from thise beautiful love "UNION":) Also one last note. My parents will have been married this coming November for 29 years! Peace~

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  49.   Starthai says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 07

    Southlane thanks for your opinion, but I disagree with the value education and etc. I wish you could have came across the ones I met, totally ignorant, For instance when I was a Dental Assistant I worked in an all Asian environment which was cool, because I didn't know the culture but I soon realized (especially the women) they looked down on Blk females in particular, there was on incident to where a White female was trying to apply for a position and soon after the Dentist mentioned to another Phillipino female that she will not higher a white female, because they want too much money. Now you read between those lines, (and there was many more ignorances like that, but I don't want to write a book) they think of blk females as low down and dirty and the reason why I say blk females is because they adored and had no problems with any blk males that came in the office (only the blk females). I stand by my opinion I wouldn't date an Asian man to save my life and sorry if I offend the small few that are not Undercover racists. Totally not interested in the culture.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  50.   deeann says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 07

    To Southland...I was just wondering what does your opinion on 10/17th has to do with Asian men and Blk. females? Personally, I am doing my part as far as being responsible. Peace

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment